


Five Dimensions, or Dean's Crusade: A Dance with Self Discovery

by anyrei, mugglerock



Series: Five Dimensions Series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Canon Compliant, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 12, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Season/Series 13 Speculation, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tags Are Purposely Being Left Out Check the Notes, Temporary Character Death, The Greatest Love Story Never Told
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-15 06:31:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: What if you were able to see your life as it progressed in an alternate timeline? Would you find yourself grateful for what you have? Or would you be side swiped by the realization that you might not have it as good?Dean Winchester couldn’t care about either possibility. None of that mattered as long as it helped him bring back his best friend. And that’s exactly the chance he’s going to get, with the help of a certain nephilim.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PawneePorpoise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PawneePorpoise/gifts), [Hannah_ruth_990](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_ruth_990/gifts), [Patricia1974](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patricia1974/gifts).



> FIRSTLY: This Fic is FINISHED. We just got too excited to wait until it was completely edited to start uploading, so we will upload each part as we finish editing it.
> 
> Because we needed a distraction from the series we’re working on, and decided to try our hands at the 5x1 trope, this is what happened. But because we like fucking with tropes, we went a little different (big fucking surprise) direction with it. Also and MOST IMPORTANTLY: This is dedicated to three of our habitual commenters. Your support and persistent comments on our work always brings a smile to our faces. So, this is for you: PawneePorpoise, Hannah_ruth_990, and Patricia1974!
> 
> ALSO: Regarding the tags. There is content in each chapter that may or may not require a tag, BUT because it is not the core portion of the story, we didn’t want misconceptions or misunderstandings drawn from overtagging. So, anything that could be potential trigger worthy will be indicated in the NOTES at the top of the chapter. 
> 
> This was born out of a love for exploring alternate timelines and ultimately? This is pretty much how I’d love to see season 13 open. Here’s to hoping you enjoy it as much as we did writing it!
> 
>  **Edited to add** : We now have a joint tumblr for our writing. If you find yourselves amused by our antics or simply are just bored, follow us [here](https://the-real-anyrock.tumblr.com/)!

****

 

**Prologue**

 

Despite it being mid-May, despite the cloying and temperamental weather of North Cove, Washington, Dean couldn’t repress the shiver that coursed through him. It was surprising how much colder his corner of the world felt with the despondence that accompanied death. And not just any death. The death of his best friend. An angel of the lord who, time and time again, had proven himself as not only an ally, as someone they could count on, but an integral part of his small and broken family.

 

A family he’d pieced together over the years out of a myriad of colorful characters. From a grumpy, belligerent, bordering on savant, old man who was more of a father to him and Sammy than their own father ever was. To a nerdy and weirdly perky computer hacker with a love for the ladies that rivaled Dean’s own.

 

Somehow, someway, Castiel had infiltrated their walls and defenses, solidifying a place in both his and his brother’s hearts. And now he was dead. Dead at the hands of the archangel who had been keeping him and Sam in the saving the world business for too many years. An archangel that, should he ever see him again, Dean had every intention of ganking. Slowly and painfully if at all possible.

 

Another shiver coursed through Dean, spurring him to look up. Suddenly his gaze was locked with a golden glow. When his eyes finally focused, Dean realized what it was he was looking at. The nephilim. On instinct, Dean spread his arms and took a protective stance in front of Cas’s body. For all he knew, nephilim ate dead angels or something just as creepy.

 

The nephilim tilted his head and looked down at Cas’s lifeless body before his gaze wandered up to Dean again. Golden eyes held him an intense stare, like the kid was looking directly into his soul. “You love him,” the nephilim finally stated, his voice sounded weirdly emotionally detached.

 

Dean narrowed his eyes at the kid, teenager, whatever the hell he was. “Cas is family,” he replied in kind, trying his best to keep the emotion out of his voice.

 

The nephilim walked forward and knelt on the ground beside Cas. “He’s gone.” In that moment, his stoicism faltered and Dean saw the kid’s face change with his emotional reaction. He seemed sad.

 

Straightening his stance, but still on guard, hand hovered over his left hip in case the kid tried anything funny; Dean felt determined in that moment. “I’ll get him back. Just a matter of time.”

 

Golden eyes looked up at Dean again, widened and questioning. "I can bring him back, but I can't do it without a price being paid."

 

“The hell’re you talking about?” he asked, tone hesitant. As badly as he wanted Cas back, the last thing he was going to do was make a deal with the devil. Or, well, the devil’s _kid._

 

Said kid looked back to Cas before taking in a deep breath. "Life is about balance. Castiel has done things that upset this balance and it resulted in cosmic consequences. Even my powers can't bring him back to you if you aren't willing to give something for it. There would be a series of tests for you to take. A price to pay for his life. If you're willing to pay it, I can bring him back from where his essence is trapped."

 

He could feel Sam’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at his brother. Sam looked as awful as he felt. With a firm shake of his head, he said, “Dean, no.”

 

Shrugging off his brother, Dean took a step closer to the nephilim. “What do I have to do?”

 

"I will send you to another dimension. There will be a test. If you pass, you will find a portal to the next dimension. There are five tests. If you succeed, the last portal will bring you back." The nephilim reached out and touched Cas's arm, tilting his head before he looked up at Dean again. “Will you do this for him?”

 

“What are these tests?” The question tumbled out more as a reactive response. An instinct to protest, because that’s what he was supposed to do. But Dean knew he was going to say yes the moment the kid told him there was a way to bring Cas back.

 

"That I can't tell you," he stated quietly.

 

Sam touched Dean's shoulder again. "Shit, Dean. Listen. I know you're upset, but you can't make a decision like this... We can't trust him."

 

Dean turned to face his brother full on, letting out an annoyed sigh. “We’ve been betrayed by people we _did_ trust and had our asses backed up by people we _didn’t_ trust. Trust is relative at this point and you heard the kid. Cosmic consequences. If this will bring Cas back, I’m willing to take the chance.”

 

Sam carded his hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. "Come on, Dean. What happened to, ‘we don't do this shit anymore’? You have no idea if we’d even come back."

 

The nephilim looked up at them again. “Just him,” he said, pointing at Dean. “I can only send him. He has to do it alone.”

 

Before his brother could voice further protest, Dean raised his hand to halt him. “Look… If it was me on the ground and the kid offered you the same chance, could you honestly say you wouldn’t take it?”

 

Sam regarded him silently for a moment, seemingly working over his words. Finally, after a beat, he sighed in defeat and Dean knew he had won. “Damnit,” he muttered.

 

The nephilim stood up again, giving Dean a wide eyed look that reminded him so much of Cas. “So you’ll do it?”

 

Dean looked at Sam, gaze slowly drifting down to Cas. To the charred remains of his broken and beaten wings marring the ground beneath them. He took a deep breath and looked up at the kid again. With a faint nod, Dean answered, “Yes.”

 

With a soft nod, his gaze grew serious and concentrated. “Thank you.” The nephilim then reached out and waved his hand. A golden light ripped through the air and tore a gap into space and time. It looked similar to the rift from before. He gave Dean another look. “Please succeed and come back.”

 

Dean nodded and turned back to his brother, yanking him into a fierce hug. “I’ll come back.”

 

“You better. I’ll keep an eye on the kid,” Sam said, the worry and frustration with the situation obvious in his voice. “Bring him back to us.”

 

Dean, suddenly having found himself steeled and determined, nodded again. This time with a fierceness he knew he was going to need for whatever the hell he was about to face. With a small smile, he murmured a fond, “Bitch.”

 

“Jerk,” Sam whispered back, a quick and small smile playing around his lips. One that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

Turning back to the nephilim, Dean was surprised to be met with startling blue eyes instead of golden. Eerily familiar blue eyes. “Alright, Damien. Do I just touch it or…”

 

“My name is _Jack._ And yes, you just touch it.”

 

 _Shit._ Between the blue eyes and not getting his references, Dean almost had to wonder if the kid actually was Cas’s and not Lucifer’s. “Got it,” he grumbled and took a step towards the rift.

 

Before he could touch it, Jack held him back. “I have one last thing to say… that may help you.”

 

Dean looked at him expectantly and after a beat of tense silence, he barked, “You wanna elaborate?”

 

Jack tilted his head before he nodded. “Stay true to your heart. Be honest with yourself and you _will_ succeed.”

 

It was difficult to not snort outright. The last thing he needed was trite, Disney song bullshit. He needed to save Cas and he was going to do whatever it took. Dean kept his snarky comment to himself, it wasn’t like the kid would get it anyway, and gave him a curt nod. He carefully reached out and touched the rift.

 

Suddenly, he was yanked through the portal to the other dimension in such rapidity, he swore he’d end up with whiplash. There were colors and various sensations surrounding him before his vision went black.


	2. Dimension 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: None for this chapter.
> 
> Chapter 1 ladies and jellyspoons! Editing chapter 2 as we speak!

**Dimension 1**

 

When Dean’s vision came into focus, he found himself in front of the bunker. For the most part, it all looked the same. It would be damn easy to confuse this place with his own reality. He looked around, not seeing anyone or anything within the vicinity, so he carefully treaded around the back. When he reached the exit for the west tunnel, he was surprised to find a woman standing off to the side.

 

She was breathtaking. Dark brown, almost black hair cascading over her shoulders. Wearing a simple blue dress. Fair skin that was straight out of some sort of Disney fairy tale. Perfect pouty lips, pursed in contemplation as she attempted to… Dean wasn’t sure. Her hands were pressed against the side of the building, as though trying to feel for… Hell if he knew. When she turned and made eye contact with him, he was struck dumb by crystal clear blue eyes. So much so that he almost didn’t notice that she was very clearly pregnant. 

 

Well, there went his chance at getting her number. Dean stepped forward and started to ask, “Uh, can – ”

 

“Dean? You’re already back?” She asked in surprise, her hand sliding off of the wall. “Is it safe inside?”

 

“Uh… Yes?” he answered hesitantly. Dean was pretty sure he would have remembered meeting a woman this beautiful in his life. Even in alternate timelines.

 

The woman squinted her eyes at him as she came closer. “Something is…” Suddenly she drew an angel blade and held it out towards him. “You’re not Dean. Who are you?” she demanded.

 

“I am…” Dean countered as he took a step back, hands held up in surrender. “I’m Dean Winchester, I swear! I’m just… I’m not the Dean Winchester from  _ this  _ dimension…”

 

She scrutinized him with a serious look before she growled, “Where’s  _ my  _ Dean? Have you done something to him?”

 

“I swear, I just got here…” he defended, taking another step back. Needless to say, Dean was pretty damn confused. “I haven’t done anything to  _ your  _ Dean, Miss?”

 

“My name is Castiel.” 

 

Dean scoffed in amazement. “You’re fucking with me.”

 

The woman tilted her head in confusion before she smirked. “Well, not with  _ you _ you.”

 

His jaw friggin’ dropped at that innuendo. Dean’s mind was racing a million miles a minute. So, in this dimension, Cas was a chick. Not just a chick, a seriously  _ hot  _ chick. And apparently her and alternate dimension Dean were a thing? “I, uh… It… What?” he stammered out ungracefully. 

 

The female version of Cas sighed and lowered her angel blade, just for a moment, still keeping the weapon in her hand. "Here's what we're going to do. We will go into this bunker and look for my Dean. I need to know if he's okay and that you didn’t replace him when you came here."

 

Dean nodded and took a step back. He rifled through his pocket and presented his key to the bunker. “Think this’ll help?”

 

The woman looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. “Yes…” She raised her angel blade again. “Very suspicious that you have a key for a building that we  _ just  _ found and tried to scout.”

 

“Like I said, sweetcheeks. From another dimension. My brother and I live here where I’m from.” His cockiness was short-lived when chick Cas rounded on him, beautifully familiar blue eyes fiery with anger.

 

"Call me sweetcheeks again and I’ll cut your balls off. Now open the door and don't make any sudden movements,” she growled, squinting her eyes at him.

 

He raised his hands in surrender again. “Fine. Sorry.” Carefully Dean approached the front of the bunker, stepping easily over the open trench. He offered his hand to help her over it.

 

She just glared at him. “Do I look like I need your help?”

 

Dean’s eyes darted down to her protruding stomach, before slowly coming back to meet her eyes. “Honestly?”

 

She rolled her eyes in clear annoyance. “You’re almost as bad as my Dean. Always hovering. Now open the door! I can get there myself.”

 

_ You’re almost as bitchy as my Cas. _ Dean thought ruefully.  _ Damn.  _ It was such a weird thing to suddenly miss. As much as the guy got on his nerves, the idea of never hearing that bitchy tone of voice directed at him ever again was unfathomable. Doing as lady Cas demanded, Dean approached the door. He let out a soft sigh of relief when his key worked in this dimension, too.

 

Dean held the door open for her and received yet another eyeroll. He scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I woulda held it open for a dude version of you, too.”

 

She squinted her eyes again, in the exact same way Cas always did. Apparently, certain habits crossed all sorts of spectrums and timelines. “I have a male vessel in your universe?”

 

“Yeah. You’re  _ almost  _ as pretty,” he quipped. Dean peered over the railing, not seeing any sign of movement. He started walking down the stairs and decided to try and start up a conversation. Which was a damn stupid idea. “So, uh… Did I… I mean, the version of me from here, uh… did we… he? Did  _ he  _ knock you up?”

 

Ignoring his stammering, she pushed him aside as she ran down the stairs, calling for the other Dean, tone clearly worried, “Dean? Are you here?”

 

When the other Dean stepped into the room from the library, he was mid-sentence when he caught sight of –  well,  _ himself  _ standing a few feet behind lady Cas. It would never  _ not  _ be weird to see his doppelgänger.

 

“The fuck is going on, Cassie?” he demanded when he pulled out his sig and cocked it, aiming it directly at Dean’s chest.

 

The female version of Cas stepped beside her Dean, looking relieved before her expression grew serious again. “He claims to be from another universe. Judging by what I can sense, it seems to be true. He had a key to this bunker.”

 

“Seriously?” Dean challenged. “You could  _ sense  _ I was telling the truth and you still held me at blade point, or whatever?”

 

Bizarro Dean wrapped his free arm around Cassie’s waist and cocked his head as he aimed his gun a little lower. Groin area low. “Go ahead. Keep talkin’ to her like that.”

 

“Just because you’re telling the truth about coming from another universe, doesn’t mean I can trust you. There are infinite parallel universes out there and not all of them are good,” Cassie explained. “And we don’t have the luxury to trust just anyone considering our situation.”

 

He wasn’t surprised by that. If what he inferred earlier was true. If Cassie was knocked up with Bizarro Dean’s kid, that meant it was a nephilim. Which meant Heaven probably had a hit out on it. 

 

Dean took a calming breath and slowly descended the stairs. “Look. I’m not askin’ you to trust me. In fact, an old friend once told me to never trust anyone… but I’m gonna level with you. I’m here because I was sent here to try and pass some kind of test, or trial, or whatever… so I can get  _ my  _ Castiel back.”

 

Cassie exchanged a confused look with her Dean before she looked back. “What kind of test? What happened to your Cas?”

 

“Lucifer, like the piece of shit he is, stabbed him in the back,” he spat.

 

“So he’s dead?” Cassie seemed confused. “There’s no power other than god’s that can bring him back, and he’s gone. So what are you doing here?  _ How  _ are you here?”

 

Dean let out a sigh and lowered his hands. “You ain’t the only one expecting a nephilim.”

 

“How do you know?” Cassie looked suspicious again and took a guarded stance, holding out her blade. “Who sent you? The angels? Are you here to kill our baby?”

 

“No, no!” Dean shook his head and took another step forward. Bizarro Dean ushered him back with a wave of his gun and Dean nodded as he moved back. “Look, I just guessed about your nephilim. From the context of everything you’ve said, I figured it made sense. In my universe, Lucifer knocked up his girlfriend and the kid… He said he could only bring Cas back if I passed these tests and sent me here. That’s all I know.”

 

“A nephilim fathered by an archangel…” Cassie sighed thoughtfully. “I can’t even  _ begin  _ to imagine the power. But even a being like him would need to abide by the laws of the universe.” She looked at her Dean and nodded. “He speaks the truth.”

 

Bizarro Dean lowered his gun, still casting a wary glance at Dean. His grip visibly tightened around Cassie’s waist. It was met with a fond smile as those ethereal blue eyes caught the gaze of the man she was clearly smitten with. After a couple of beats of watching the two of them make googly eyes at each other, Dean cleared his throat.

 

Did he and his Cas stare at each other that long? He shook his head of the thought and hooked his thumbs in his pockets. “So, uh… Cas and you?”

 

That was met with a quirked brow. “Yeah. Cas and me.”

 

“I mean…” Dean let out a slightly nervous chuckle as he tried to lighten the mood. “If  _ my  _ Cas was a lady, who knows, you know?”

 

Cassie glared at him. "Technically, I'm not a woman. And my Dean is not so shallow... He loves me because of me, not my vessel." She massaged the bridge of her nose before turning back to her Dean. "Is this bunker safe? Have we finally found a place?"

 

Bizarro Dean smiled down at her and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think we did.”

 

Cassie wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Good. I don’t know how much longer I can be on the run. I think it’ll be just a few days now before she will be born.”

 

Dean felt like he was intruding on a seriously private moment. Unsure of what to do with himself, he blurted out the first thing that popped into his head. “Wait… You’re okay with her dying to have your kid?”

 

That caused Bizarro Dean’s eyebrows to shoot up. His expression became a combination of concerned and angry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Cassie looked up at Dean in confusion. “I’m not going to die. I’m an angel. Only humans wouldn’t survive the birth of a nephilim. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

 

“Oh,” he mumbled, ducking his gaze when Bizarro Dean pulled Cassie in for a relieved looking kiss.

 

He looked back at them when Cassie called out to him. “What can you tell us about this bunker? How can we keep other angels out? If my Dean could easily enter it like he did, an angel could, too. So we need a plan to fortify this location. Make it safe.”

 

Dean grinned. Now  _ that  _ he could do. “I know every inch of this place. I know where to and how to set up all the wardings that, with Cassie’s name in Enochian, would make her the  _ only  _ angel who can step foot in this place.” 

 

“That would be a great help.” Cassie nodded and for the first time she smiled at him. “Would you show us around?”

 

“Sure. Why don’t I show you guys where to set up the wardings first?” He opened his arms in invitation pointing in the direction of the map room.

 

“That would be of a grea–” She made a pained noise and clutched her belly.

 

“Cassie?” Bizarro Dean asked, his tone just as worried as his expression. He placed the gun down on a shelf and gently grasped her forearm.

 

She took a few deep breaths and shook her head. “I think it’s okay now. Just a–” Cassie let out another pained cry.

 

Dean grabbed a chair and brought it to her. “Here, sit.”

 

She sat down, panting a bit and holding her belly like she was in pain. “Dean,” she whispered. “I think… maybe it’s time.” 

 

Bizarro Dean’s eyes widened. He hunched in front of her, taking Cassie’s hands in his own. “What do you need? What should I do?”

 

“A bed?” She asked slowly, looking up at him, sounding insecure.

 

Dean nodded to them, offering his hand to help her stand. “Come on.”

 

He and Bizarro Dean slipped an arm under each of Cassie’s and helped her walk to the nearest bedroom. Dean opened the door for them and stepped out of the way as Bizarro Dean helped Cassie into the bed. 

 

“What else, baby?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve never had a baby before. I just want to lay down.”

 

“I know in the movies they always scream for towels and hot water…” Dean supplied unhelpfully.

 

Cassie glared at him. “For what?”

 

Dean shrugged. “You know, I honestly have no idea.”

 

Bizarro Dean rolled his eyes before returning his attention to Cassie. He gently carded his free hand into her hair before cupping her face. “I’m here. You can do this. You’re amazing.”

 

Cassie smiled at him. “I love you, Dean. Just stay with me. Hold my hand?”

 

“Done,” he murmured as he leaned in to press a chaste kiss to her lips.

 

Dean really felt like he was intruding now. Not to mention, he really didn’t want to see any childbirth, so he slowly began to back out of them room. “How about I set up the wardings for you guys?”

 

Cassie gave him a long, pointed look. “Okay.” She turned to her Dean. “Maybe you should go with him and watch what he’s doing. Just in case.”

 

“I heard groaning, is everythi–” Sam, or rather Bizarro Sam, stopped mid-sentence as he came barreling into the room. He looked from Bizarro Dean to Dean and instantly drew his gun. “What the hell?”

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Dean stepped back and raised his hands in surrender.

 

Thankfully, Bizarro Dean came to the rescue. “It’s cool, Sammy. He’s like… Bizarro me. On the level.”

 

“What?” Sam slowly lowered his gun. “Like that one time we went to that other world where we were actors?” 

 

Cassie groaned again and Sammy from the other dimension was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay? Is the baby coming?”

 

Cassie nodded at Sam. “I think so. It’s earlier than I expected.”

 

“I’ll grab towels and hot water,” Sammy announced before he departed the room just as quickly as he’d entered, without giving them so much a glance or chance to ask the question why those items were important to have. Cassie looked up at her Dean, holding his hand as she smiled at him. “Our daughter…”

 

He looked down at her, his expression was the personification of being in love. Dean found himself, yet again, intruding on a private moment. 

 

“I'll show you guys again what I did later. I'm gonna set up the wardings so you can be alone…” he offered, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Cassie pushed the other Dean in his direction. “Go with him. I’ll be fine. Sam will be returning soon with… towels and hot water for whatever reason. The security of this bunker is more important. There will be a spike of energy when she’s born. The angels will know where we are if we don't do something to try and cover it up.” She looked at Dean, her eyes pleading. “If there's anything you can do or know, please help us keep her safe.”

 

Dean nodded. “Let's start with cloaking the bunker, so when the energy spike happens, they won’t know.” He waited in the doorway for Bizarro Dean, who kissed Cassie’s forehead and winked at her before he followed Dean outside.

 

“Do you actually have a plan?” He asked in suspicion. “Or are you just improvising?”

 

“No, man. We regularly update our wardings, it's a long story, but in my dimension we had a weird, uh… friendship? I guess... with Crowley.” Dean led them back through the hallway to the map room.

 

“The king of Hell?” Dean asked, clearly confused. “Ex-crossroad demon with a prissy attitude?”

 

That took him aback. Dean wondered how many things were different in this timeline. “Yeah. The one and the same.” As he reached the computer in the operating room, he looked back at his doppelgänger. “This is where we enter the different codes and shit that fortify different wards.”

 

“Is it possible to ward it against angels but that it doesn't hurt Cassie?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah. My Cas wasn't safe either, so we had to get pretty creative.”

 

Bizarro Dean chuckled. “Should have known she would throw herself in danger for us in every dimension… So… why are you here, Dean?”

 

“Like I said. Trying to pass this unknown test, or trial, or whatever. If I can save my best friend, I gotta take the shot, right?” Dean proceeded to start entering different codes into the warding system on the computer, showing Bizarro Dean each code.

 

“What happens if you fail? Will you get stuck here?” The other Dean asked, voice rough as he followed Dean's hand movement to learn what he was doing.

 

“No idea. I don't plan on failing, though.” He plugged in Castiel’s name as he started the slightly more complicated code to only allow Cassie in the bunker.

 

Bizarro Dean nodded. “I hear you. If something like that happened to Cassie... I would burn down the world to save her.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, you guys have a little different relationship than me and my Cas…”

 

The other Dean gave him a pointed look. “And still here you are, risking everything for your Cas…” He shrugged. “I don’t know how different our universes are, but I can't imagine  _ any  _ world where Castiel and I… Cassie is it for me.”

 

“Shit, if my Cas looked like yours, I'm pretty sure our timelines would be identical…” And wasn't that kind of a mindfuck? Dean plugged in a couple of anti-demon wards before he added an extra one to alarm if people with British accents came within a hundred yards of the bunker.

 

“So your Cas is... ugly?” Bizarro Dean asked with a smug grin.

 

“No,” he automatically defended. “He, uh. Well, he's a  _ he,  _ so…” He looked over the codes and feeling satisfied, stepped back with a nod to his doppelgänger. “That should do it, but I can also show you where all the different books and the ingredients are for spellwork if you wanna have extra protection.”

 

“I’ll take everything that could help. Gotta protect my family… Books though. Man, where’s Sammy when I need him?” He chuckled and nodded. “Lead the way.” They went into the direction of the library before Bizarro Dean added, “Looks like we aren't that much alike after all.”

 

Dean looked him up and down, quirking his brow in question. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, no offense, but you sound more like a bookworm. Knowing all this stuff, and I  _ definitely  _ jerked off to Dr. Sexy a time or two when I was younger. So Cassie being a man wouldn’t have stopped me from falling in love with her.”

 

There was definitely heat in his ears as he ducked his head. Dean wasn't all that different from him, at least where the whole Dr. Sexy thing was concerned. But he just assumed it was a phase or something. Normal, natural sexual curiosity. “Jerking off to a dude doesn't make you gay…” he defended.

 

Bizarro Dean rolled his eyes. “But it makes you bi.” He raised his arms in a defensive gesture and grinned. “And yes, that's a thing.”

 

“Well, I'm neither…” Dean muttered. He was starting to feel a little tetchy. This conversation was bordering on too fucking real and he'd put off thinking about this kind of crap for years.

 

Bizarro Dean gave him a mirthless laugh and shook his head. “Maybe we’re more alike than I thought. I was pretty good at the whole suppressing shit, too. Before everything changed in my life and my family got bigger. Bobby and Charlie will live with us when it's safe. It’ll be nice to have all of them under one roof.”

 

It was seeing Bobby in that alternate timeline where they weren't born all over again. Dean’s heart ached with the profound loss he felt in that moment. “They're okay here?”

 

The smile from Bizarro Dean’s lips slipped and he gave him a worried look. “Yes… They aren't in your world?”

 

Dean shook his head, pressing his lips together to stop any trembling. He sighed and said, “Pretty much lost everyone except for Jody and the girls.”

 

“And Sam?” Bizarro Dean asked a little breathlessly.

 

“No, I meant  _ we  _ lost. No, fuck. If I lost Sam, too I just don't know what I'd do…” 

 

Bizarro Dean let out a sigh of relief before he asked, “Who are the girls you mentioned? Jody doesn't have kids in my world. She lost her family.”

 

“Just a couple of kids whose lives we upturned and she took in.” Man this universe seemed to have it more made than his own. All the people he loved alive. Happy, in love, and about to actually start his own family, all while still being in the life. With someone who understood the life and his best friend. Aside from being on the run, their lives were so much better here. It was pretty damn weird to feel jealous of himself.

 

“How did they die? Maybe I can prevent it here if I know what happened…” Bizarro Dean asked slowly.

 

Dean shook his head. “They're still alive at this point here, which I'm guessing means things went down  _ way  _ differently in your timeline. I, uh… I wouldn't worry about it.”

 

The other Dean scratched his chin and nodded. “Yeah, you mentioned Lucifer is out. We put him in a cage. That was a pretty bleak time… Because Sammy had to jump into the cage with him. I don’t know… if it hadn’t been for Cassie.”

 

He'd never imagined he'd wished for the simpler time of putting off the first apocalypse. Dean sighed and asked, “Did your Cas, did she betray you to open purgatory?”

 

Bizarro Dean gave him a confused look. “Purga – what now?”

 

_ Damn.  _ Things seriously went down differently from his timeline. “Just be glad you didn't have to deal with God Cas... you think she's bossy now?”

 

That earned him another wide eyed look. “Damn, the more I hear about your world… mine really doesn’t sound so bad.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, you have no idea. That's why I'm doing this. Everything that hits us, hits us fucking hard and he was one of the only things in my life that made it seem bearable.”

 

A soft smile played around Bizarro Dean’s lips. “Yeah, I know what you mean. And I will do anything to help you get your Cas back.”

 

“Thanks, man.” Dean showed him the section of the library with all of the spell books. “Just show Sam this section, he’ll literally spend the first three nights reading everything he can.”

 

Bizarro Dean chuckled. “I bet.” He looked around, letting his gaze wander through the room and sighed. “I’m glad we found this place. We’ve been on the run for so long. This could be our  _ home.  _ I just... I wish our kid could have a normal life, you know? She will probably always be hunted.”

 

“Well… the way I see things, she's gonna have two parents and a small pieced together family there to protect her. As far as I'm concerned, she's already got it better than we did…” Dean was surprised at how jealous he was in that moment, not just of the other Dean’s life, but of the life of their soon to be born daughter was about to have. 

 

“You’re right.” Bizarro Dean ruffled his hand through his hair. “Guess I’m just nervous. I always wanted a kid.”

 

“Yeah,” he murmured. Dean definitely understood that. “You're gonna be a good dad. Hell, you raised Sammy, right?”

 

“And he turned out great. Apart from the girly hair and his healthy food obsession,” Bizarro Dean quipped before he looked in the direction of the war room. “So how do we get in and out of this place without having to override the wardings?”

 

Dean fished his key out of his pocket. This seemingly mundane piece of metal had been so significant for him. It wasn't just a way in and out of the bunker, it was a tangible symbol of something he'd never really had since his mom died. A home. An honest to God  _ home.  _

 

Without even thinking twice, he placed it in Bizarro Dean’s palm. “Take my key. You guys need it more than I do.”

 

For a moment the other Dean just looked at him before he closed his fingers around it. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

 

Before he could wave off his gratitude, Cassie called for her Dean. They both turned toward the sound, but instead of running in her direction, something held him back. A golden light crackled and hummed behind them as a rift started to open.

 

Bizarro Dean smiled at him. “Looks like you passed.”

 

Dean returned the smile. He had no idea what he'd done, but he didn't care. Passing the first test got him that much closer to saving Cas. He looked back at his doppelgänger and nodded. “Go check on your angel.” 

 

The other Dean grinned. “I will. Good luck with your quest. I hope you get your Cas back.”

 

Well, he sure as well was going to do everything he could. As Bizzaro Dean turned to leave, Dean called out, “Wait.”

 

His doppelgänger turned around and gave him a questioning look. “What?”

 

“I don't know if you guys have a name in mind, but if you don't, if I could suggest one?” He knew the perfect name.

 

“Sure,” he said with a shrug.

 

Dean smiled. “Name her Claire.”

 

“Any particular reason?” Bizarro Dean asked, lips quirked up in amusement. “I mean, it's a nice name...”

 

“She's, uh… she's the closest thing I've got to a daughter.” 

 

That was met with a full blown smile. “It’s good to know you have people to live and fight for, too.”

 

There was another pained cry and Cassie called out for her Dean again. 

 

Dean nodded. “Go. And good luck.”

 

“You, too!” Bizarro Dean waved before he quickly ran in the direction of the bedrooms, vanishing from sight completely as Dean got sucked into the rift and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timestamp for this dimension can now be read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12151398)!


	3. Dimension 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: insensitive terminology for mental health disorders 
> 
> We told you this beast is done. Editing it one chapter at a time. This sucker should be uploaded within the next few days, barring unexpected crap impeding us. Hope you enjoy this next timeline!

**Dimension 2**

 

Dean blinked his eyes into focus as his surroundings became solid. The room he was in was dark, the only light coming from the moon through a large window with iron bars in front of it. 

 

When he turned around, he almost collided with a solitary bed. One of those shitty cot, hospital bed type of things. The person in the bed shifted and sat up. Familiar green eyes locked with his own and Dean gasped. “Uh, I can explain…”

 

The other Dean scrubbed his hand over his face tiredly and sat up on the bed, murmuring, “Seeing myself. That’s new.”

 

“Uh…” Dean started, not really sure what to make of this version of himself. “I'm not a hallucination.”

 

The other man chuckled mirthlessly. “If I had a penny for every time a hallucination told me that…” He looked up at the ceiling, folding his hands in a prayer. “Castiel… Would you help me fall back to sleep?”

 

Dean looked around, half expecting to hear the tell tale sound of wings. At the lack of response, he moved closer to the other Dean. “Castiel, angel of the lord, right? Your best friend?”

 

“Not according to the doctors here. They say he isn't real. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and schizoaffective disorder.” At Dean’s bemused look, he continued, “I hear voices in my head and see things that aren’t there because of my childhood trauma. They give me pills for that, but I still hear him. They tell me I’m nuts, but I  _ know  _ Castiel is real. He’s out there and he needs my help.” The other Dean let out a soft gasp and covered his mouth with his hand. He looked up at the door. “Shhh. If they hear me talking, they’ll come check on me.”

 

The irony wasn't lost on Dean that if he told a normal person he was having a conversation with a crazy version of himself from an alternate timeline, he'd be locked up faster than they could say straight jacket. Dean moved to sit on the edge of the bed and lowered his voice. “What trauma?”

 

“Seriously?” The other Dean gave him an incredulous look. “You’re me. You know our story. Mom and Dad died in a fire when our brother was a baby. He and I got separated and I grew up in a fuck ton of different foster care and group homes. Ones that didn’t treat me all that kindly when I started talking about the monster that killed my parents. No one believes me, but monsters are  _ real.  _ And shortly after Castiel started talking to me, I landed in here… It's not his fault though. I should have kept my mouth shut and been better at covering my tracks…”

 

His expression grew sad as he looked up at Dean. “He’s the only friend I’ve got.”

 

Dean shook his head, completely dumbfounded at the life this version of himself had to live. What a fucked up situation. “Monsters  _ are _ real. And so is Cas. I'm from an alternate dimension, where our Dad survived the fire that killed our mom. A fire started by a demon.”

 

Crazy Dean gave him a flabbergasted look. “Fuck. I  _ am _ crazy. I’ve totally lost it, haven’t I? I’m talking to a version of myself who’s even more cuckoo than I am.”

 

Dean smacked Crazy Dean upside his head. When he winced and rubbed at his head, Dean nodded and said, “That wouldn't have hurt if I wasn’t real.”

 

“Son of a bitch…” The other Dean stared at him for a moment. “I don’t get it… What are you doing here if you aren’t in my imagination?”

 

“My Cas… my Cas was killed. I'm being sent to alternate timelines to pass some kind of test to try and bring him back.”

 

"Like a fucked up version of Orpheus and Eurydice?" Crazy Dean asked.

 

Dean shrugged. “No idea who they are, but sure. Why not?” 

 

Crazy Dean scratched his eyebrow as he explained, “I had to learn everything about greek mythology from a pastor I lived with. The guy tended to punch the stuff into my head when I started to slack… So what do you have to do?”

 

“Don't know… I'm basically just going with the flow in every timeline I'm dropped into. The one I just came from, Cas was a lady and we were in a relationship with her.” Dean smiled and pulled his right leg up onto the bed as he faced the other Dean.

 

That was met with a pleased grin. “What does Castiel look like? I only know his voice.”

 

How the hell was he supposed to answer that? Dean chuckled and answered as honestly as he could, “I guess it depends on the vessel he takes. My Cas took the vessel of a guy named Jimmy Novak. Shorter than me, blue eyes, crazy messy dark hair. Handsome.” 

 

“Does this guy live in Pontiac, Illinois by any chance?” Crazy Dean asked with a furrowed brow.

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, that's where he was from.”

 

Crazy Dean ruffled his hand through his hair and sighed deeply. “Fuck…”

 

“You starting to realize you're not as crazy as you thought, huh?” 

 

His doppelgänger nodded slowly. “There was always this nagging doubt at the back of my mind. That maybe the doctors here were right, that I’m just… hearing voices and I’m crazy. I mean, all of this sounds totally insane. But Castiel told me that he needed to take this man as his vessel. Jimmy Novak from Pontiac, Illinois. And he couldn’t get to him without my help because someone has captured him, keeping him hidden from Castiel. He said that the end of the world is near and he needs my help to fight against the apocalypse…” A single tear fell from Crazy Dean’s eyes. “It’s just so much. I’m just a guy in an asylum.”

 

Dean placed his hand on the guy’s shoulder in comfort. “I know it seems like too much, but if I could do it… Shit. So can you. You have to know, you're a version of the guy who stopped the apocalypse from happening on multiple occasions.” 

 

He looked around the room, taking in its details. It looked more like a jail cell than the room he had when he and Sam checked themselves into the mental hospital for that case all of those years ago. There was the bed, catty corner from the door, a small desk to the left of the bed and a toilet in the corner. Dean sighed and stood up. “Come on, let's get you out of here and I'll get you in touch with someone who can help you.”

 

“I need to find Castiel. He’s the only one that matters to me.” Crazy Dean angrily wiped the tear away. “I just don’t have the first clue about how to get out of here.”

 

“Can't you just leave?” he asked as he looked around again. From what he remembered, they couldn’t keep people against their will unless they did something seriously fucked. “Your door isn't locked is it?”

 

Crazy Dean shook his head. “It’s locked. I killed someone. Well, not a  _ person.  _ A vampire. Not that it mattered to the authorities. A body’s a body… They’ll never let me out of here.”

 

“Shit.” Dean got up and checked the door. It was a double cylinder thumbturn, he could easily pick it. But if this place was for the criminally nuts, that meant there would be a lot of fucking security. He looked back at crazy Dean. “How many guards are there? How many respond to a disturbance?”

 

His doppelgänger scratched his arm thoughtfully. “It’s a small facility. We have fifteen guards who work here. Most of them are pretty nice.”

 

“And when a nutbag starts screaming or whatever, do you know how they respond? Two guards? Ten? Are they armed?”

 

“Nightshift has six people. Don’t know who’s on duty tonight. When someone screams, they usually come with two people and they only have batons. Too risky to have dangerous weapons around us whack jobs,” he said, tone sarcastic.

 

Dean nodded. They had a real opportunity to pull a bait and switch here and he'd always wanted to try that. 

 

“You look like you have a plan…” Crazy Dean murmured slowly.

 

Dean grinned. “You really wanna get out of here? Find your angel?”

 

“Hell, yes. I can’t wait to finally meet him in person.” Crazy Dean smiled for the first time. “You have no idea… I couldn’t have gone through all this shit without him. He’s always with me… and now I want… I  _ need  _ to help him.” 

 

“Then let's get you outta here.” Dean pulled out his switchblade and started banging it against the door. He started calling out for the correctional officers, or whatever they were.

 

“You haven’t told me your plan.” Crazy Dean eyed the door with a worried look.

 

“Just go with it, okay?” he called out, moving to hide behind the side of the bed hidden from the door. “When they come in, start insulting them.”

 

“Okay.” He shrugged. “I can do that.” Crazy Dean rubbed his hands over his arms and started to shout explicits at the guards as soon as the door was opened.

 

“The hell’s your problem, Winchester? You're usually quiet,” a gruff and annoyed sounding voice barked.

 

“You’re my problem… assbutt.” 

 

Dean chuckled at the guard’s growl. When one of the guards approached the side of the bed he was hiding behind, he smiled and waved at him.

 

The guy cried, “What the fuck?”

 

Without missing a beat, Dean lunged forward and punched the guy in his groin, pulling the baton from his duty belt. He clocked the guard on the side of his head, instantly knocking him out. The other guard came for him and Dean sidestepped, circling behind him and yanking him into a headlock. Dean managed to choke him out, causing him to pass out.

 

Dropping the guy to the floor, Dean looked back and went to close the door. He came back and started undressing the smaller of the two guards. “Here,” Dean barked as he handed crazy Dean the guy's shirt. “Put his clothes on. You'll use his badge to get yourself out of here. When you get out, find Robert Singer. His salvage yard is in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He’ll help you, he knows about the life. He’ll be able to get you what you need to get off the grid and help Cas.”

 

“What about you?” Crazy Dean asked as he started pulling on the guard’s clothes.

 

Dean shrugged. “I'll take your place. Give you a few days head start before I break out.”

 

Crazy Dean stared at him for a moment. “You would do that for me? Do you have  _ any  _ idea what they’re gonna do to you when they discover you knocked out a couple of guards?”

 

Dean chuckled. “Trust me, I've dealt with worse. Besides, these guys are gonna question their own sanity after the parent trap we just pulled.” He handed his doppelgänger the guard’s badge. “Go save your Cas.”

 

Crazy Dean nodded and grabbed Dean’s hand, squeezing it. “Thank you. I hope you can find a way to save your Castiel, too.”

 

“I sure as hell am gonna try.” Dean nodded at him and looked down at the unconscious men. He moved them to the corner of the room while Crazy Dean shrugged on the rest of the uniform.

 

“Are you and your Castiel.... Is he more than just your friend?” Crazy Dean asked carefully as he finished buttoning the guard’s shirt.

 

Dean grabbed the white uniform top and started getting changed into Crazy Dean’s clothes. “Why do you ask?”

 

The other Dean shrugged and looked away for a moment. “Just curious… You’re literally going through different dimensions to save him... Some might say you would go to the end of the world...”

 

“Cas is family. It's not even a question,” he answered honestly. Dean pulled the pants up and noted the elastic of the pants were pretty worn. He grabbed his stuff, cutting open a hole in the bottom of the mattress, before hiding his normal clothes and few possessions in it. 

 

“So you would do this for anyone who’s family? Try to bring them back from the dead?” Crazy Dean asked thoughtfully, before he sneaked a look outside in the hall.

 

When faced with such a question, Dean realized in that moment that no, he would not. The only other person he would go to such extremes in trying to bring back was his brother. Somehow Cas had become just as important to him as Sam. He breathed out an amazed sounding, “No.”

 

Crazy Dean looked up and gave him a smile. “If your Castiel is as important to you, as mine is to me… I understand.”

 

Dean smiled and crawled into the bed. “He is.”

 

That was met with a nod before his face grew serious again. “Thank you, Dean. For everything...” Crazy Dean tilted his head before shaking it. “Doesn’t stop being weird talking to… myself?”

 

He chuckled. “I think I'm finally getting used to it.”

 

“Good luck with breaking out. There’s this one guard… Cesar. He’s a good guy.” Crazy Dean looked out the door again to make sure the coast was clear. “I should go now.”

 

“Try to not be seen as you leave here, but if you are seen, keep your head down and grumble about needing a smoke break. And don't forget about Bobby,” he urged and pulled the blanket up over his legs.

 

“Yes, got it. Smoke break. And Bobby Singer. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Good luck, Dean.” Crazy Dean nodded at him before he crept outside. Dean could hear a door down the hall being opened.

 

Dean looked up at the window and sighed. “Don't worry, Cas. He's coming.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

After a couple of days of tonguing his meds while being kept on a one to one for his behavior, and man had that been annoying! He couldn’t even take a piss without a guard or an orderly being within ten feet of him. Dean was finally released from the constant supervision for his stunt of knocking out two guards and getting rid of one of their uniforms. Honestly, he probably had Cesar to thank for that. The guy had done him a real solid, coming to bat for him, telling the doctor that it wasn’t his normal behavior. 

 

Finding himself back in the room Crazy Dean had spent, who knew how much of his life in. Dean had hoped helping the guy escape would be the key to passing the test. But considering it had been almost four days and nothing, he guessed that wasn’t what he was supposed to have done. But it felt right to help the other Dean get out of this place.

 

When nightfall came, being locked inside the room meant no more half hour checks. It would give him ample opportunity to go the old school route and break out. Checking his mattress, he was relieved to find his stuff still there. Dean quickly changed into his clothes and grabbed his lock pick kit.

 

He went to the window, the thick iron bars obstructing the view from outside. Not that there was much to see anyway, with the darkness of the trees and night sky surrounding the building. He didn’t even know where he was. He hadn’t asked. 

 

From one of the sessions with the doctor, he had learned in this timeline, he and Sam lost contact with one another when they were kids. He hoped that the Sammy in this world had a better life than the obviously fucked up fate this Dean had had so far. He wondered if Crazy Dean had found Cas by now, had helped him find Jimmy.

 

It was a weird thought. Dean had stopped thinking of Cas’s body as a vessel for a long time now. He didn’t see Jimmy Novak’s body. For him, Cas was just... Cas. And although the female version of Cas from that other dimension had been smoking hot, he still couldn’t imagine Cas in any other body. He didn’t want him in another body.

 

Dean sighed and pressed his forehead against the window. Fuck, he missed Cas. He needed to get him back. 

 

A soft humming and crackling interrupted his thoughts as he turned around and saw the golden glow of a rift forming.  _ Fucking finally!  _ Without hesitation Dean stepped toward the portal and braced himself for the next timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timestamp for this dimension can now be read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175902)!


	4. Dimension 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: None really, other than sorry for any feels. 
> 
> Any here: This morning I woke up and got like a fuck load of mails from ao3 because I hadn’t been at my PC since Frankie started uploading. I’m happy this fic already got so much love (you guys are the best!!!) and I’m proud we wrote all this in two and a half days! Anyway. This chapter has a special place in my heart and I don’t know why. Well that’s not true. I cried while we wrote it, so that’s why. But I hope you will love it as much as I do.
> 
> Frankie here: Yeah. I'm not sorry if any of you cry. <3<3

**Dimension 3**

 

Unlike the first two timelines, when Dean started to focus on his surroundings, he found himself in the midst of a fight. Several people were attacking someone. Not people. Things. Creatures straight out of some terrifying, Pan’s Labyrinth knock off. 

 

When he saw a pair of black eyes, Dean realized they were demons. Actual, biblical ideas of what a demon looked like. Without even thinking about it, he withdrew the demon killing knife and charged forward. 

 

He ganked two of them before he was thrown back against a dirty wall in, what appeared to be, an abandoned warehouse. Dean started reciting an exorcism and that drew the attention of the three other demons. He stood again, knife at the ready as he waved for them to come at him. “Make my fucking day.”

 

Suddenly one of the demons was grabbed from behind and a blinding light burned the life out of him. The two other demons jumped backwards, one of them wielding a huge fucking axe. When the dead demon fell to the ground, Dean could finally see who they were attacking. 

 

It was Cas and he looked like he had went ten rounds with a grizzly bear and lost. His trenchcoat was in pieces, he had bloody scratches everywhere and he was barely holding himself upright. No way he would stand a chance against two more of those weird demons with actual horns. 

 

When the axe from that one demon came down at him, he barely rolled to the side in enough time, dodging the fatal blow by mere inches. The next blow would kill him. When he noticed Cas wasn’t getting up, Dean dove forward, plunging his blade through the demon’s neck, yanking it back out as the body fell to the side. Dean kicked it and knelt down next to Cas. 

 

The last demon grabbed Dean by his shirt collar and shoved him against the wall. Dean let out a groan as the solid concrete slammed against his back. He got the knife an inch from the thing’s chest when the demon grabbed Dean’s wrist and snapped the bone, causing him to drop the knife and cry out, “Fuck!”

 

Suddenly the demon was yanked back from him and a blinding light accompanied the demon’s screams as he died under Cas’s hand. Cas let himself fall to his knees, breathing heavily as he rubbed away the blood running from his eyebrow into his eyes. “Who are you?” he growled. 

 

Dean winced and inhaled sharply from the pain in his wrist. “Name’s Dean Winchester.”

 

Cas tilted his head, looking confused, absolutely no recognition for his name. “You’re human.”

 

“And you’re an angel. And these douchebags are, or  _ were, _ demons,” he sassed, lips turned up in a short lived smirk as another wave of sharp pain radiated up his arm.

 

Cas obviously didn’t get the sarcasm because he just squinted his eyes and nodded with a serious expression. “Yes… Something is different about you. You don’t belong here.”

 

“No,” Dean confirmed as he shook his head. “I’m from an alternate timeline.”

 

“You should go back to where you came from. This isn’t a place for a human anymore,” Cas stated dryly before he reached over and healed Dean’s broken wrist. When he retracted his hand he seemed to look confused about his own action.

 

Dean smiled, feeling a weird tug of fondness for the guy. Apart from being a reject from the Scraps base, he reminded him of his own Cas. “I, uh… I don’t know how to get back. I’m here to pass a test…”

 

“What test?” Cas asked, looking around the warehouse. “You shouldn't stay here. I could show you how to get to the next human settlement.”

 

“I don’t know what the test is…” he answered truthfully. Dean took a look around. “What the hell happened here?”

 

“The end of the world.” Cas dusted dirt from the scraps of his clothes, not that it improved how battered he looked. “You’ll get answers from the other surviving humans. I have to get back to the fight. I lost my garrison.”

 

Dean looked at him for a moment, trying to piece together what he saw. This was a world where the apocalypse happened. A world where he and Sam never showed Cas the value of humanity. And yet, here Cas was, still fighting. “It’s kind of amazing how similar you are in every timeline.”

 

That brought Cas’s attention back to him. “You know me?”

 

“You’re Castiel.” Dean nodded. “In my timeline, you were my best friend.”

 

Cas tilted his head. “That’s hard to imagine. You’re human. Your kind usually end up in our crossfire.”

 

“Well, where I’m from, you helped me and my brother stop that from happening in the first place.”

 

“Why would I do that? It's against Heaven's order.” 

 

Dean chuckled. “Those doubts you have, the ones no one knows about? My brother and I showed you why you should listen to them. With us at your side you had the ability to defy Heaven’s orders.”

 

Cas stared at him, his lips pressed into a thin line. “Doubt is a doorway to disobedience… How would a human have the strength to fight the heavenly plan? It's Lucifer and Michael fighting against each other. I'm just an angel.”

 

“We were able to trick Lucifer and Michael into the cage. You helped us, even though all of Heaven was trying to force it to happen.” Dean really missed his Cas in that moment. All of the times he had their backs, helped them save the world. The angel was the only good thing to have come out of Heaven.

 

“Why?” Cas shook his head. “Why would I risk everything for someone like you?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Fuck if I know. You definitely deserved better. But, for some reason, you gave a shit about me and my brother. We would have died if it wasn’t for you, I don’t even know how many times…”

 

Cas started to walk towards the door, slowly – his injuries must have really been bothering him. “Why are you here?”

 

“For my Cas…” Dean reached out and opened the door for him. 

 

Cas tilted his head and gave him another long look. “What happened?”

 

He was getting sick and tired of having to tell person after person, angel after angel, that Cas was killed. If he’d had the time and knew it was going to happen, he would have had cards made up.  _ “Hi, my name is Dean Winchester. My best friend is Castiel. He was killed, so Lucifer’s nephilim kid sent me on a noble quest to pass a series of tests to balance out the cosmic consequences that came from him killing a reaper. If I pass these tests, he can bring Cas back. And no, I don’t know what the tests are.” _

 

Dean let out a sigh and finally answered, “He was killed. This is the only way I have to try and bring him back.”

 

Cas stopped his squinting through the door and looked back at him. “You would go through all of this for an angel?”

 

“Not just any angel. My best friend.” Dean smiled as he braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder and looked the other direction. He felt Cas tense up under his palm before he flinched back from him and stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. 

 

Dean released his hold on his shoulder and stepped back. “Sorry.”

 

Cas ignored him and stepped closer, his eyes trained on Dean’s shoulder. He tentatively reached out and pushed the sleeve of his flannel shirt down, before he shoved his t-shirt upwards. His fingers slid over the skin up towards his shoulder, stopping when his hand reached the area that formerly held Cas’s handprint. “You and him… you shared a profound bond.”

 

“Interesting choice of words,” he said. Dean looked at Cas, feeling weirdly intimidated by his intense gaze. “Yeah. We did.”

 

He didn't expect the next words. For the first time this Cas didn't sound like a robot angel. His voice sounded timid, not that anyone would have noticed. But he  _ knew  _ Cas. And he had learned to recognize those little changes in his pitch. 

 

“Did he fall for you?" 

 

Dean shook his head. “No, he fell because he was duped by that asswipe, Metatron.”

 

For some reason Cas didn’t seem convinced by that answer. He squinted his eyes at Dean, looking him over like he was an interesting puzzle to solve. After a moment he sighed deeply and looked out again. “The camp is north from here. It’s not the safest place, but then again, no where in the world has any safe places left. If you hurry, you’ll find other humans in a few hours. I advise that you go there before nightfall.”

 

As his eye trailed over the horizon falling behind the direction Cas pointed him, Dean felt weirdly protective of the angel in that moment. “Come with me,” he offered.

 

Cas shook his head. “I don’t have time to look after you. I have to get back to the battlefield.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I wasn’t askin’ for a babysitter. It’s rough goin’ things alone, figured we could keep each other safe? Or, well… safer?”

 

“We’re not going in the same direction and I can’t go to where the humans are. They will attack me on sight.” He pointed towards the ruins of what used to be skyscrapers at some point. “You’ll be safer if you go alone. Angels tend to attract more demons than a human soul. Just keep away from any dark corners and you’ll be fine.”

 

“I’m more worried about you than I am about me, here, Cas…” he argued. He was having friggin’ flashbacks to Purgatory.

 

Cas looked at him in confusion. “I’m just a soldier. This is probably my last day on Earth. Why would you worry about me? I’m not… your Castiel.”

 

He didn’t have an answer for that. It was weird, but every timeline he was in, even though they weren’t  _ his  _ Cas, he still worried for them. Dean cared about his friend and apparently, whatever dimension they were in, that broke through every time. He was particularly worried about this Castiel because he didn’t have a Dean watching his back.

 

“I just… I don’t know… But if this is your last day on Earth, then what does it matter which direction you go?” 

 

“Because I have my orders. I shouldn’t even be talking to you.” Cas made a pained noise and grabbed the side of his stomach. He stepped away from the door and sat on the ground. When he retracted his hand it had blood on it. He sighed and leaned his head against the warehouse wall. “Or I’ll just stay here and die,” he added dryly.

 

Dean knelt down in front of him. “Why don’t you use your mojo on your injuries?”

 

“It doesn’t work with injuries from demonic weapons.” He sighed and turned his head to look at them. “Otherwise this would have been a very quick war.”

 

His eyes followed Cas’s gaze and Dean sighed. He stood up and held his hand out to him. “Well, if you’re dying, no point in doing it alone. Come with me. Might as well make your last day on Earth worth it, right?”

 

Cas tilted his head, but took the offered hand. “What are you thinking?”

 

“Well, I’m guessing if this is a post apocalyptic world, taking you to a bar or a brothel is probably out of the question, right?” Dean smirked and helped the angel stand.

 

“I don’t know if those things exist anymore. There’s just destruction left. A few scattered humans, hiding out and trying to survive this battle.” He could have been wrong, but Cas sounded sad about that.

 

Dean sighed, feeling bad for all of the people in this version of the world. “Why do humans hate angels here? I mean, apart from the fact you guys are mostly dicks with wings.”

 

Cas looked down. “Because we’ve probably killed more of them than the demons have.”

 

“Cross-fire, or because we were all a bunch of mud monkeys in your way?” Dean asked, recalling Uriel’s term of endearment.

 

“Lucifer doesn’t care about our father’s creation. A lot of other angels follow this belief. And Michael is just interested in… winning. No matter how.” Cas bit his lower lip. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not in any position to judge.”

 

He couldn’t help but smile at that. Cas was still Cas. Didn’t seem to matter what the circumstances were. “Not much left to win, now…” he commented as he pointedly looked around at the destruction that surrounded them. Dilapidated buildings, burning debris, infrastructure that had gone to shit. That seemed to be one thing the movies all got right. Dean sighed. It was weird how much it made him appreciate his own fucked up life.

 

“It’ll be paradise when it’s over.” Cas didn’t sound like even  _ he  _ believed in the company lie.

 

“How can that even be possible? Your war destroyed any chance of that. And…” Dean looked at him, watching the way Cas’s jaw clenched with his words. “And you  _ know  _ that, don’t you?”

 

Cas gave him a pained look. “I’m just one angel… And I’m alone.”

 

Dean shook his head and smiled. “Not anymore.”

 

Cas gave him a small smile. “So what should a human, that doesn’t even belong here, and a broken angel, do?”

 

Proffering his elbow for the angel to take, Dean shrugged. “I say we find that human compound and see if they have any scotch.”

 

“I can’t get drunk,” Cas said before he sighed and nodded. “Alright. I’ll bring you to the humans. But don’t expect them to  _ not  _ kill me on sight.”

 

Dean nodded, it was more of a reactive response because he didn’t know what to say. Cas took his arm and they started the trek in the direction of the humans. It was insane how much this dimension resembled the movie idea of a post apocalyptic world. The eeriness of being completely alone, buildings crumbled and barely standing. Cars were still parked on the streets, but there was rust and decay from years of nonuse. Burning debris in every direction. 

 

The world was just… empty.

 

“Was there any part of humanity that you liked?” Dean tried to use conversation to fill the empty spaces. 

 

Cas nodded slowly. “The gardens. Art. Everything your kind created was beautiful.”

 

This Cas and his own were so alike. Dean smiled at that. “My Cas loved watching bees.”

 

He looked down and muttered a sad, “I liked them, too. They’re extinct now.”

 

“Shit,” he cursed. While Dean was not their number one fan, the gravity of such a thing, like a species going extinct, was jarring. He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Why did you keep fighting? After your garrison left, or died, or whatever happened to them?”

 

Cas shook his head. “I don’t know. I think I just wanted it to end. My life. I didn’t anticipate getting saved by a human.”

 

Dean grinned at that. “I’m kind of in the habit of saving people. Family business and all…”

 

"I'm getting the impression that you're an extraordinary human being, Dean." He stopped walking for a moment, taking in a pained, deep breath before he looked up at Dean. “I can see why your Castiel liked you.”

 

He couldn’t help but be touched by that. Dean nodded. “I liked him, too.” Gently touching Cas’s arm, he asked, “Is there anything I can do to help? I can try to stitch up the wounds or something?”

 

“Is that something you can do?” he asked in surprise. 

 

“Oh, yeah… I can do a mean cross-stitch…” he teased as he guided Cas to sit on a nearby bench. He pulled out the small sewing kit and floss he always kept on him. “Where are you hurt?”

 

Before Dean could say anything, Cas shrugged off the rest of his trenchcoat and jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt completely to throw it on the pile together with the blue tie that was totally wrecked. He leaned back so Dean could get a better look at the wounds on his chest and stomach.

 

Dean swallowed against the lump in his throat. Seeing the scars, the amount of lacerations, and dried blood caked into his skin… It reminded him too much of what he lost in that moment. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Dean leaned over and gently grazed his finger near the largest wound on the side of his abdomen. “I don’t suppose you have anything I could clean it with?”

 

Cas took in a deep breath and let his hand slide over the parts of his torso that were caked in blood and dirt. His hand glowed and the dirt vanished. Only fresh blood remained. “That’s the best I can do.”

 

Pulling out a long string of floss, he threaded the needle and rested his knee on the bench beside the angel. Using his other hand, Dean pulled the skin together and braced the needle near the end. “Okay, I’m starting…” he warned as he pierced the needle through Cas’s skin and started to thread the wound closed.

 

Cas made a pained noise and leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder, breathing heavily. “Thank you for doing this,” he pressed out through gritted teeth.

 

“No thanks necessary,” he murmured as he finished up the stitch. Tying it off in a double knot, Dean drew back and smiled. None of his other wounds required stitches. “At least it’ll stop the bleeding.”

 

Cas had his eyes closed and hummed in agreement before he looked up at him with a weak smile. "I'm still not sure I will survive this day, but thank you for making the effort."

 

Dean nodded, feeling an overwhelming urge to hug him. Maybe it was because he was so much like  _ his  _ Cas and the thought of never getting to hug his friend again was constricting his throat. He looked down at the ruined shirt and tie and decided to drive his line of thoughts in a different direction. “That shirt is ruined.”

 

Cas looked down at it and nodded. “I don’t have the energy to repair it again.” He squinted his eyes and looked up at the sun before his gaze wandered off to the north. “I’m not sure we will make it to the camp before nightfall. We should look for a room to fortify our position and stay there for the night.” 

 

“Okay,” he agreed. Cas knew this place better than he did. Dean looked around and saw a pretty sturdy building across the street. It looked like it used to be a library. “Would there work?” he nodded to behind Cas.

 

He had no idea what Cas saw when he squinted his eyes at the library, but after a moment he slowly nodded. “There’s a small office in there with a door that can be locked.”

 

“Come on,” Dean urged as he grabbed the scraps of clothing off of the bench and held his hand out to help Cas up.

 

Cas took it again, bracing himself against Dean’s shoulder when he stumbled. “I apologize. I feel… dizzy.”

 

“I got you,” he reassured as he looped his arm around Cas, helping keep him upright. “Let’s go.” Dean guided Cas forward until they reached the entrance of the library. The door was unlocked, so he used his leg to push it open, taking a quick look around before following Cas into the building.

 

Cas pointed towards a few toppled book shelves. “The office is somewhere behind those shelves. We should be safe there.”

 

One of the shelves was blocking the door and Dean knew it would probably be too heavy to simply push it out of the way. Before he could ask if Cas could lift it, the angel just pushed it to the side like it weighed nothing and opened the door.

 

The office was really small. More like a storeroom than a real office, but it contained a desk, a broken chair, and a dead plant in a flowerpot. Cas closed the door behind them and locked it before he slid down on his knees and leaned his back against the door. “You should get comfortable. We’ll have to stay here for a while.”

 

“I’ve had to stay in worse places… At least there aren’t any rats.” Dean ripped the seat off of the broken chair and dropped it to the floor. “Why don’t you rest?” Dean offered the cushion.

 

Cas tilted his head. “I don’t sleep.”

 

“No, but don’t angels do that weird meditation thing to try and heal themselves faster?”

 

“No.” Cas stated slowly. 

 

Dean hopped up on the desk. “Just sit on the cushion, Cas.”

 

“Why?” Another head tilt.

 

“You’re worse than a friggin’ toddler. Just do it ‘cause I asked you to, okay?” Dean gave him a pointed look.

 

Cas sighed deeply and grabbed the cushion before he awkwardly sat down on it. "You're infuriating."

 

He looked up, trying to not let that get to him. Dean let out a shaky exhale and shook his head. Every few minutes he was being reminded of what he lost, what he was so desperately trying to get back. “It’s what he liked about me…”

 

For a long moment Cas didn't say anything before he quietly asked, "Was he very different from me?"

 

That was an interesting question. “Yes and no? You’re kinda how Cas was before me and Sammy corrupted him.” Dean smiled fondly as he recalled just how much Cas had changed, and for the better in so many ways.

 

"Corrupting him?" Cas raised an eyebrow, looking suspicious for a moment.

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, with Netflix and sarcasm…”

 

Cas slowly shook his head. “Most of the time I have no idea what you’re talking about… What’s… Netflix?”

 

He snapped his fingers and pointed at Cas. “Now,  _ that’s  _ what I’m talkin’ about.” Dean kind of loved that he was getting the chance to explain yet another reference. He never would have thought that would be something he missed doing. “Netflix was one of Cas’s favorite things to do with his down time. Binge watch the crap out of anything and everything the service had,” he explained.

 

“Television?” Cas asked slowly.

 

“Yeah. He loved everything.” 

 

Cas looked even more confused. “I don’t understand… Did he… live with you?”

 

Dean nodded. “Had his own room and everything.”

 

Cas looked down at his hands. "He didn't get lonely living with you? Being on Earth, living with humans... not being able to hear the other angels, or to feel Heaven's tranquility… it's hard to imagine an angel would choose that sort of existence."

 

“Hell if I know. He didn’t have much of a choice, but I…” Dean sighed and continued, “I just hope we made things a little more bearable for him.”

 

"Since you’re taking this journey to get him back, I get the impression you care a lot about him. I'm sure knowing this made his exile easier for him."

 

“Yeah, I bet knowing it  _ would  _ have,” he murmured as he let out a mirthless chuckle. Dean never told Cas enough just how important he was to them. To  _ him. _

 

“You think he didn’t know,” Cas stated instead of asking. He pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around them. “But I’m sure he did.”

 

It was a nice thought. He hoped that his Cas knew. Still didn’t mean he didn’t regret not telling him enough. “He shoulda been told more.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. “If you are like this, like you are right now, around him, too... he heard you loud and clear."

 

Dean sighed. He promised himself in that moment if he succeeded, if he brought Cas back, he was gonna tell him more. Out loud. Tell him how much he meant to Dean. How much his life was better for having him in it. “So, are all of the flyboys fighting, or are most of them hiding up in Heaven?”

 

"All the soldiers are down here. But a few angels remain in Heaven looking after the souls." Cas looked up, his blue eyes seemed brighter now, as if he was slowly feeling better. "Why?" 

 

“Just curious,” he said. “Things are probably much different here than from my timeline.”

 

Cas nodded slowly. "I'm sure it is." He smiled again. "It's a strange new feeling... I'm happy that I seemed to have a different purpose in another life. That I had a life... And... friends?"

 

Dean returned the smile. “You did. A lot of friends. Hence why I’m here.”

 

"If it's not too much to ask..." Cas looked away for a moment. "Would you show me a memory of him?"

 

“How?” Dean questioned, unsure what it was Cas was asking.

 

"You would think of something. A memory of him. I'll touch you and I can see it. It's like dreamwalking." Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "If it's too much to ask I would understand." 

 

Dean shook his head and got down from the desk. He moved to sit in front of Cas. Rifling through his memories, he decided to go with the time he took Cas to a brothel to lose his virginity. It was, hands down, one of his favorites. He smiled and said, “Got one.”

 

Cas leaned forward as he sat on his knees in front of him, blue eyes locking with Dean's before he nodded and reached out to touch his forehead with two fingers. "Concentrate on that memory."

 

He did as instructed, unable to stop the smile from tugging his lips as he recalled that night.

 

He remembered the laughter, the light feeling in his chest. The way Cas had felt pressed against him when he draped his arm over his shoulder. The way Cas had smiled at him. The guy didn’t understand why Dean had been laughing, but he still smiled at him. 

 

It wasn’t until two fingers trailed down from Dean’s forehead to his cheek, that he realized he’d started to cry. Cas wiped away the tracks of his tears and Dean looked up, instantly getting lost in familiar blue eyes. 

 

"Thank you, Dean," he whispered.

 

Dean gently grasped the angel’s wrist and squeezed. “Can I hug you? I know it’s a weird thing to ask, but if I don’t succeed… If I can’t save Cas…” he trailed off, unable to say the words.

 

Cas nodded. “Of course.”

 

Without hesitation, he yanked Cas forward into a hug. Pressing his face into the crook of the guy’s neck, Dean let out a shaky exhale, wrapping his arms around Cas’s back. He breathed out a grateful, “Thank you.”

 

He could feel how Cas wrapped his arms around him tentatively, yet still pulling him closer. "I hope I'm doing this correctly. I've never hugged someone before."

 

Dean chuckled against his skin. “You’re doing fine.”

 

"Good," Cas murmured, leaning more of his weight against Dean. "This feels... nice."

 

He couldn't help but murmur a sound of agreement. Dean drew back and smiled. “Thanks for that.”

 

Cas mirrored the smile. "Thank you. I think I have a much better understanding of things... Now that I’ve seen them through your eyes."

 

Dean nodded and looked around. “Maybe I should try to sleep…”

 

"Would you mind sleeping next to me? It feels... comforting." Cas sounded hesitant, as though he wasn't sure he was using the word correctly. “I could watch over you,” he offered.

 

Fuck, he really missed his Cas. Pressing his lips together to stave off anymore damn tears, Dean said, “I’d like that.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

The trek to the compound was relatively uneventful. Dean spent it answering all of Cas’s questions about his Cas, his timeline. He'd even gotten a laugh out of him. For a few moments it felt like he had  _ his  _ Cas back.

 

Suddenly Cas stopped and squinted in the direction they were walking. He grabbed Dean’s wrist to halt him. When his eyes widened, he released his hold. “We have to hurry. The camp is under attack.”

 

Dean started to run after Cas, drawing out his demon killing knife and watching Cas do the same with his angel blade. He had been right. At least five of those weird-ass horn demons were attacking the wall around the human compound. The humans on the wall tried to fight them off with baseball bats and guns, but it made absolutely no impact on them.

 

One of the demons grabbed a man’s arm and pulled him down. It was too late to save him as the demon broke the guy’s neck. Dean charged and slammed his knife into the demon’s shoulder blade, causing it to let out an unholy screech of pain. It tried to shake him off, but Dean managed to stab the thing in its heart. Letting the body of the creature fall to the ground, as Dean pulled the knife out, he was slammed into the wall by another demon. He nearly lost consciousness from the impact of it.

 

He could hear his name being called by Cas. His voice sounded worried and much closer when suddenly the angel was by Dean’s side, pulling the demon off of him. Dean gasped, gulping in pain as he took in a breath.  _ Shit.  _ He hadn’t even realized the demon had been strangling him. 

 

Shielding his eyes from the telltale bright light emitting from Cas’s smiting as he killed the last demon, Dean let out a sigh of relief. When it fell in front of Dean’s feet with a heavy thud, he looked up again.

 

Warm fingers gently caressed his cheek and he was met with concerned blue eyes. “Dean… Are you alright?”

 

Before he could answer the question, he heard murmurs and excited chatter from above the wall. People were calling out to them.

 

Cas’s breath hitched and it drew Dean’s attention to him again. He knew this wasn’t his Cas, but  _ fuck  _ they looked so similar in that moment. The open surprise and wonder on his expression when Cas looked up at the people murmuring excitedly; the pain and worry etched into his features, from years of having seen way too much darkness in this world. Like in that moment something had changed in him. As though he’d opened himself up, made himself vulnerable to emotions.

 

“The angel saved a human.” Dean could hear the people calling out in surprise and excitement.

 

“Will he save us? Will he fight for us?” Other people were asking.

 

A massive metal door was pushed open, a young black man and a grim looking asian woman stood there, waving them over with their guns.

 

Cas gave Dean a worried look again, before he wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist and stepped slightly in front of him. Dean wasn’t sure Cas was even aware of what he was doing in that moment. It was a little mind-boggling that, within a day, they’d grown close enough that Cas felt the need to protect him. Not that he needed protection, but it was the gesture that counted.

 

Placing a placating hand on the angel’s shoulder, Dean stepped forward. “My name is Dean Winchester. We’re looking for shelter,” he said to the other humans, hoping they wouldn’t be the shoot first-ask questions later type. And considering they hadn’t, the odds seemed to be in their favor.

 

“You  _ and _ the angel?” The woman asked roughly.

 

“Oh, yeah. We’re a package deal,” Dean said, ignoring the surprised glance from Cas.

 

“Why did he save you?” she asked in a suspicious tone, shrugging off the young man when he tried to hold her back.

 

“Maybe ‘cause I’m pretty,” he sassed. Despite being in a universe where angels and humans appeared to be enemies, he still felt weirdly protective of Cas. Even if he wasn’t  _ his  _ Cas.

 

Cas tilted his head and gave him an odd look. “That was not the reason, Dean.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Sarcasm, Cas.”

 

Cas looked thoughtful for a moment before he made an, “Oh,” sound and nodded. He faced the woman at the door. “I’m not going to harm any of you.”

 

The young man whispered something to the woman, who nodded reluctantly. “Okay, you can both come in.”

 

Letting out a sigh of relief, Dean looked at Cas, making eye contact and silently asking with the quirk of his brow if the angel intended on coming in with him. 

 

Cas nodded, to Dean’s surprise understanding what he had meant. 

 

As they followed the two humans into the compound, Dean asked, “So, you two got names?”

 

“I’m Sarah,” the woman answered gruffly before she pointed to her companion. “This is William. We lead this refuge.”

 

Dean nodded. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dean, as you know, and this is Castiel.”

 

Sarah gave Castiel another suspicious look. “How did you end up with angelic protection, Dean?” she asked in a sarcastic and bitter tone.

 

“Just lucky, I guess,” he quipped with a shrug. He looked her over and sighed. “Look, I know you guys have it in your head that angels are on the same level as demons, but not all of them are. Cas here is one of the few that sees the value of humanity.”

 

“Yeah, great,” she huffed. “And where was he when they murdered our children? When they smote our city just to kill a  _ few  _ demons, not caring how many people were still in there? Treating us as collateral damage?”

 

Dean turned to Cas then. He didn’t know how nor could he answer that question. 

 

Cas had a pained expression on his face. "There is nothing I can do to bring your lost loved ones back, or to even end your suffering. I'm neither omnipresent nor powerful enough to make a significant difference. But I  _ can  _ offer to help protect the survivors of this compound, if you’ll let me."

 

William looked torn for a moment, as though reticent to ask his next question. He seemed to find the courage after a beat of silence as he asked, “We have a few people who are injured. Are you able to heal them?”

 

“Yes,” Cas answered simply. 

 

That appeared to take Sarah aback. She nodded and barked, “Follow me.”

 

Cas tilted his head. “Do you want to be healed, too?”

 

She eyed him warily. “And what guarantee do I have you won’t kill me like you did those demons?”

 

“If I wanted to kill you I would have already done it. And if I don’t heal your cancer, you’ll die in a few months anyway.”

 

Sarah’s eyes widened in dismay. “I have cancer?”

 

Cas nodded, tilting his head again. “You didn’t know?”

 

William answered then, “It’s not like we have access to medical care.”

 

Nodding his understanding, Cas explained, “There will be no need for that. I can heal your injured and your illness.”

 

Sarah took a step forward, getting closer to Cas. “Why now? After years and years of death and destruction, why does an angel care  _ now?” _

 

Cas looked at Dean for a moment, before turning back to Sarah and William. “Because someone believed in me. Someone had faith and it made me believe in myself.”

 

Dean was struck dumb for a moment. In such a short time, his unwavering faith in his best friend, and any version of his best friend, had managed to alter this angel’s perception of a pretty dismal situation. And that was pretty goddamn significant. In that moment, his hand itched to reach out for Cas, but he quelled it by giving him a soft smile instead.

 

That response seemed to be enough for Sarah as she stepped closer. “How will you heal me?”

 

“I would just touch your forehead. It won’t hurt,” Cas explained as he slowly walked up to her and reached out to her forehead with two fingers. She still seemed afraid.

 

Dean approached Sarah, giving her a nod of encouragement. “He healed my broken arm earlier. It’s okay, I promise.”

 

She took in a deep breath and finally nodded before Cas touched her forehead for a moment as he healed her. When he stepped back, Sarah looked confused. “That’s it?”

 

Cas nodded. “You’re healed.”

 

William braced his hand on her shoulder and smiled. “Let’s show him to our medical bay.”

 

Sarah nodded at William and the two of them led Dean and Cas through the entrance of the multiple story warehouse. They were met with several stares, widened eyes at seeing an angel up close who wasn’t there to smite them, Dean assumed. 

 

When they reached a closed off section of the warehouse, there were several cots with multiple different people of all ages sprawled out on them, in various states of illness or injury. It was quite the awakening. 

 

Dean watched as Cas approached a young child, probably no older than ten, clutching a severely broken arm to his chest. 

 

He wasn’t afraid of Cas, just looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. Dean remembered how the old Cas had the tact of a bulldozer and he shouldn't have been surprised when he just touched the kid’s forehead without saying anything as he healed him.

 

The boy’s eyes widened as he let go of his arm and waved it around. “It doesn’t hurt anymore!”

 

When Dean had thought they had attention before, Cas’s healing caused an influx of excited murmuring. Suddenly there were people in the hall standing up and looking in, at least those of them who could, some even coming closer. Cas started to heal everyone and the chatter around them grew into happy cheers and laughter. The eerie silence before was abruptly changed into vibrating life.

 

When Cas was finished healing the last person, he went back to Dean, a soft smile playing around his lips as he approached him. “Thank you, Dean.”

 

“For what?” he asked, unable to hide the bemusement from his tone. 

 

“For showing me another way.” Cas stepped closer and hugged him, pulling him tight.

 

Dean gasped at the unexpected contact before melting into it. His hands twisted into the fabric of a tattered and beat up trenchcoat. It was weird, despite the guy being pretty filthy and beat up, he smelled like his Cas. Apparently angel essence was the same in every dimension. “You’re welcome,” he murmured.

 

They drew back when the familiar crackling of a rift forming echoed behind them. Dean turned to look and sighed. He glanced back at Cas then, giving him a sad smile. “That’s my ride.”

 

Cas returned the smile. “He’s lucky to have you.”

 

His heart ached with those words. Dean hated that this Cas didn’t have his own Dean. Apparently, the crazy fast bond between them went both ways. Cupping the side of Cas’s face, he murmured, “Hope you find what you’re looking for, Cas.”

 

“I think I already have, Dean.”

 

Dean’s bottom lip trembled, slightly overwhelmed with the measure of different emotions consuming him in that moment. A profound sadness for this Cas, knowing full well what he was implying and knowing that it couldn’t happen. And not for any other reason than, even though they were so similar, this wasn’t  _ his _ Cas. And the realization that,  _ damn…  _ he wished it was. 

 

It was like finding out the lyrics to a song you thought you knew inside and out, for years and years; that suddenly, after all this time, you realize you’ve been singing the words wrong.  _ Holy shit.  _ His feelings for his best friend were a misunderstood lyric.

 

It would be oh, so easy. So easy to ignore the rift and stay. Because what were the chances that he would pass all five tests? What were the odds of actually getting  _ his  _ Cas back? Pretty damn slim, considering the shitstorm of a life he’d had.

 

But in that moment, Dean knew his Cas was worth the shot. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, swiping the pad of his thumb over Cas’s bottom lip. “I can’t stay.”

 

Cas gave him a warm smile. “And you shouldn’t. This isn’t your story. Yours lies beyond here.” He nodded towards the rift. “But I will treasure the time I had with you. I won’t forget you as long as I live.”

 

Dean nodded and finally released his hold on the angel. He looked into beautifully familiar blue depths and gave him a hopeful smile. “Wish me luck?”

 

Cas nodded and returned the smile. "Good luck, Dean."

 

Casting one final look back to Castiel, he took a deep, bracing breath and reached out for the rift, closing his eyes as the static electricity buzzed around him and everything faded into whiteness instead of black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can now read the timestamp for this dimension [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12185754/chapters/27664650)!


	5. Dimension 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), abusive relationship, emotional and physical abuse implied but not depicted
> 
> Any here: I didn’t just cry while writing on this chapter. It was ugly crying. Seriously. Frankie had fun though. After every emotional line she asked me, if I was crying. Like “Are you crying XD?” I’m pretty sure she is a demon…. Damn that would explain a lot…
> 
> Frankie here: 

**Dimension 4**

 

Dean was starting to get a hang of the whole being transported to alternate timelines through a portal thing. He realized almost immediately where he was. The good old bunker. For a moment he’d hoped he had managed to pass the tests and was back home, when he remembered he had five. But whatever dimension this was, they lived in the bunker, so that was hopefully a good thing.

 

He’d materialized in the hall that led to all of the bedrooms, right in front of Cas’s bedroom. Without even thinking about it, Dean opened the door and almost cried out in relief at the sight of him in his room. 

 

Cas gasped, his eyes widened in terror as he yanked his button up shirt down, covering himself and his reflection in the full length mirror. A reflection and form that had a series of sickly purple and yellow bruises littering his rib cage. It took a moment to register  _ exactly  _ what he was seeing.

 

“Cas?” Dean asked, taking a step into the room.

 

Cas stepped back from Dean until he was pressed against the wall, ducking his head in fear. “You’re back…” he whispered, voice trembling.

 

Dean wasn’t stupid. He may not have been as smart as his little brother, and fine, so he didn’t know the level of facts about the supernatural that Sammy did, or knew what the hell trigonometry was, but that didn’t mean he was a moron. He knew when people exhibited the behavior of an abuse victim. He’d met enough of them throughout his life. And considering it was him Cas was absolutely terrified of, well… Dean could put two and two together.

 

“Why?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking.  _ Why?  _ Why was Cas  _ allowing  _ this to happen? What the hell happened to him?

 

Cas still didn’t look up, he started to tremble. “I don’t understand the question.”

 

“You’re better than this, Cas. Why do you let him hit you?” Dean decided upfront was how this was gonna go.

 

That made Cas finally look up at him. After a moment he squinted his eyes. “You’re not him.”

 

“No. And I’m not even sure I wanna know what happened in this timeline that made me a fucking abusive asshole.”

 

“Dean…” Cas finally breathed out before he walked closer and pulled him into his arms. “I never thought I would see  _ you _ again.”

 

Without hesitation he held Cas in his arms, gently caressing his back to not hurt his friend anymore than his doppelgänger apparently had. Dean drew back and searched Cas’s face. “You never answered my question.”

 

Cas took in a shaky breath. “Dean turned into a demon… Sam… and I tried to trap him… but I was too late. Sam…” Cas looked away and bit his lip. “And I stayed. It’s my fault Sam is gone and… I deserve this.”

 

So this would have been his fate if they hadn’t released the Darkness? Killing his brother and using Cas as his own personal punching bag? Dean never thought he’d be grateful for Amara. He shook his head. “It’s not your fault, Cas. You didn’t murder Sam.”

 

Cas shook his head. “You weren’t there. Sam was relying on me and I failed him. And Dean… he told me everything was going to be fine. That he… loved me. And I believed him…  _ Believe  _ him. I need to get him back. I can’t leave because I have to try everything to get him to come back to me.”

 

Dean’s lip trembled as he fought back the friggin’ waterworks that were threatening to break through. He shook his head. “He’s gone, Cas. He’s never coming back.”

 

Cas shook his head. “No… You can’t know that. I refuse to believe that.”

 

_ Shit.  _ How many fucking years had that hope been the only thing Cas had to cling onto? How many years had the asshole version of himself been hammering it into his head how worthless and weak he was? And to use love as a fucking trap? That’s why he hated the word. It was too easily thrown about, destroying any significance or meaning to it. Used as a way to keep someone under a thumb. 

 

Dean wasn’t about to let this continue to happen. “Please, Cas. Please believe me. I  _ am  _ me. I know that if I’d stayed a demon and killed Sammy? If there was even a  _ tiny  _ part of me that was still human, that part of me would convince myself to stay as a demon. Otherwise, if I got my soul back, I’d kill myself. Do you understand me? There’s no way he would come back to you, because he’d be gone as soon as he was.”

 

Dean could see it in Cas’s eyes. He could see that the angel knew he was right. But still Cas slowly shook his head before he whispered, “Then tell me. Tell me, because he will  _ never  _ be honest with me. Tell me you don't love me."

 

It should have been so easy, to just say those words. To say he didn’t love him. This wasn’t  _ his  _ Cas. This wasn’t the angel he was on the verge of saving, of bringing back to him. The angel who, over eight years had wormed his way into the extremely guarded muscle within Dean’s chest cavity. Castiel had come to mean a hell of a lot more to him than was possible, or should have been. And yet, when he found himself on the spot, in a moment where confirming Castiel’s plea would possibly save this version of his friend, he was frozen.

 

Because, goddamnit, that wasn’t the fucking truth at all.

 

“I… I can’t,” he murmured, followed by a sigh of defeat.

 

A tear fell from Cas's eyes as he slowly shook his head. "I can't let go of him. I just don't know how. I need him too much."

 

Dean wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb. “Just leave, Cas. Please. Me, the human version of the creature you’re clinging to in the vain hope of getting  _ me  _ back. Please, I’m begging you, for your sake, for  _ mine.  _ Leave him.”

 

"Why? I’ll have nothing if I leave. There is no reason for me to go on if I lose you."

 

“Because…” he started, taking a deep breath to steel himself. “Because I’m a version of Dean who lost you. Who is currently being sent on a series of tests to try and bring you back to me. That’s how much I care for you and I’m telling you now, it is  _ killing  _ me seeing you like this. You deserve so much better. You need to hear me, okay, Cas? There is absolutely  _ no chance  _ that there’s any humanity left in that demon version of me, because not even a tiny part of me would be okay with treating you like this. Dean is dead here, you’ve already lost him, but you don’t have to lose yourself. You can go back to Heaven. You can be with your family again. I  _ promise  _ you, that is still an option for you.”

 

More tears ran down Cas's cheeks and Dean knew he had finally gotten through to him. "I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye."

 

“You can now, Cas,” he offered, cupping Cas’s face in both of his hands. “Tell  _ me.” _

 

Cas took in another shuddered breath as he looked up at Dean. Glazed blue eyes locking with his, remaining quiet for a moment. “Dean…” No matter what version of Cas Dean had met in the different timelines, they could all say his name like it meant everything. 

 

After another moment Cas gave him a sad smile. "I don't have any words that would come close to telling you what you mean to me... and I know you don't do... 'chick flick' moments." He smiled again, looking down for a moment, as more tears fell to the ground between them. His voice broke when he looked up again. "I miss you."

 

Dean nodded, gently wiping his tears away. “If he could come back to you, he would. You have to know that.”

 

“It feels like I’m giving up on you. Like I’m failing you all over again,” Cas whispered, leaning into his touch.

 

“Not possible,” Dean murmured, shaking his head as he let out a wet laugh. “You have  _ never  _ failed me. You could never fail me. As long as you try to live the life you deserve, you can’t fail me, Cas.”

 

Cas stepped closer, taking in a deep breath as he tenderly slid two fingers over Dean’s forehead down to his cheek. His next words were barely audible. "I love you."

 

Dean grasped his hand and held it at his cheek. “I’m not gonna say those words to you, ‘cause they’ve been used to hurt you here. But understand that when I tell you that you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. You’re my favorite part of my life right now, you make me happy beyond measure… That when I say that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to bring you back to me,  _ that  _ is more real and more true than those three little words could ever be.”

 

Cas nodded, his voice sounded lower. “I envy your Cas.”

 

“I…” Before Dean could even think about what he wanted to say, an amused chuckle from the doorway shook them. 

 

Demon Dean was leaning against the doorframe, eyes black and eyebrow arched in amusement. “What’s going on here?”

 

Cas immediately flinched back, lowering his head. Years of fear had clearly left its scars.

 

Dean shifted, taking a protective stance in front of Cas. His demon counterpart let out a cruel laugh and waved his hand, flinging Dean against the wall on the other side of the room. He let out a soft groan at the sharp contact against his shoulder blades, landing with a sickening thud against the floor. Spots tainted his vision for a moment.

 

Demon Dean turned towards Cas then, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him against the wall. “You so fuckin’ desperate for my dick you got yourself a clone, huh, bitch?”

 

Cas struggled against his hold. "Dean... Please stop."

 

That was met with another bark of cruel laughter as he shook him. “Maybe I should force you to kill him? Take you down a peg or two. Would you like that?” He leaned in closer and taunted, “Maybe I should have you slowly remove each organ, listening to his screams of pain until you rip out his tongue. Now tell me to stop again, because if you do, that’s  _ exactly  _ what I’m gonna force you to do…”

 

Suddenly Cas's eyes flared up in a bright blue light and he pushed Demon Dean away from him. He positioned himself between Dean and the demon. "You won't touch him. I will kill you if you come any closer."

 

In that moment, the charged air was filled with the sickening crack of Demon Dean’s knuckles colliding with the side of Cas’s face. He charged the angel, slamming him against the wall, striking blow after blow into every part of Castiel he could reach.

 

Dean’s stomach lurched, he only fumbled once as he pulled out the Colt and cocked it, aiming it at Demon Dean’s head. Without hesitation, without a stupid ass Bond villain line, Dean fired the gun. The familiar crackling sound of the weapon working its magic was music to his ears as he watched his own doppelgänger crumble to the floor. 

 

He slid over the bed to reach Cas and gently grasped his shoulder. “Cas?”

 

Cas looked up at him weakly, blinking against the blood running down his face. “You’re okay…”

 

He chuckled, more a reaction stemmed from sheer relief than anything else. Dean sighed. “Yeah. Can you heal yourself?”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment and after a few seconds the bruises and cuts on his body vanished. Even his clothes were clean again. He still looked weary though, his gaze on Demon Dean’s dead body.

 

Dean gently gripped his chin to bring his attention back to him. “You’re free,” he whispered.

 

Cas nodded slowly and reached out to touch Dean before he changed his mind and retracted his hand. “I’m not sure if I know how to be free again.”

 

Without even thinking about it, he yanked Cas into a hug, finding himself yet again missing his own, so much in that moment. Dean gently rubbed the angel’s back as he murmured, “Yes you do.”

 

Cas had his arms around him, gripping him even tighter. "I know I should let you go. That you don't belong here. Is it very selfish of me to wish you would stay?"

 

Dean chuckled into his shoulder. He drew back and stared into what was fast becoming his favorite shade of blue. “I’ll always be with you, Cas.” He braced his right hand over the left side of Cas’s chest. “Here.”

 

Cas smiled softly at him. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for making my last memories of Dean pure. Not something that was twisted and tainted by lies and pain."

 

He smiled and suddenly a familiar crackling sound drew their attention to the doorway. The rift appeared. Dean looked back to Cas. “Are you gonna be okay?”

 

Cas looked down. “Not for a long while.” When he faced Dean again he gave him a sad smile. “But I will be… in a few million years.”

 

It was better than nothing. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it. “You will be. I have faith in you.”

 

Cas cupped his cheek and nodded. “Go save your Cas. For both of us.”

 

Dean nodded, unable to stop the solitary tear from escaping. “I will.” He turned back to the portal and took a step closer. He reached out to touch the rift while looking back at Cas. The last thing he saw, before his vision whited out, was bright blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can now read the timestamp for this chapter [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148751/chapters/30073422)!


	6. Dimension 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: Well, technically, the only warning for this chapter is tagged, so...
> 
> Any here: The beat of a butterfly’s wing… It’s a weird thought that by changing one little detail it has such an impact on everything that followed. It’s what I loved most about writing those AU timelines.
> 
> Frankie here: Again, totally not sorry if we made you guys cry. <3

**Dimension 5**

 

Dean was once again in familiar surroundings. He was in the bunker’s garage where all of the cars were kept. He carefully peered out from the side of the Rolls Royce he materialized by and saw himself, washing Baby. 

 

Before he could step out fully to reveal himself, his doppelgänger was hit in the side of the head with a wet sponge. Cas appeared from behind his truck and laughed.

 

The other Dean cried, “That’s it!” And proceeded to chase after Cas.

 

Cas chuckled as he reached a bucket with water. “I have the bigger bucket.”

 

The other Dean bent down and picked something up. It was the hose. He aimed it at Cas like a gun and chuckled. “How lucky are you feelin’?”

 

“Oh… um… I surrender?” Cas laughed nervously as he slowly put down the bucket and lifted his hands.

 

That was met with an eyebrow waggle and other Dean gripped his t-shirt, yanking him closer. “Damn right, you do.” He pulled Cas into a kiss, carefully wrapping his arms around the angel’s neck as the kiss was deepened. 

 

Dean awkwardly cleared his throat to draw both of their attention. “Uh, hi?”

 

The other Dean and Cas jumped apart and whirled around looking at Dean with wide eyes. “Son of a bitch,” his doppelgänger whispered as Cas squinted his eyes at him.

 

“He’s you. But not from this universe,” Cas stated calmly.

 

“Yeah, I’m from another timeline…” Dean elaborated. “I’m kind of on a quest, I guess?”

 

The other Dean and Cas drew closer, his doppelgänger eyed him curiously. “What quest?”

 

He was really regretting not having the chance to get cards made up. Dean let out another sigh. “My Cas was killed. The only way he can be brought back is if I restore the balance by passing five tests in different dimensions.”

 

The other Dean’s face suddenly got very serious. “What can we do to help?”

 

That took him aback. “What? No more questions? No details? No accusations? No desire to test me or anything?” 

 

“It’s Cas. That’s all I need to know.” The other Dean shrugged, which earned him a cute little smile from his Cas and an almost embarrassed look. 

 

Dean was dying to know what the hell happened in this timeline that this was the relationship he had with his best friend. A twinge of jealousy coursed through him in that moment. “Uh, okay. Thanks. And right now I don’t know what the tests are.”

 

“What did they consist of so far?” Cas asked slowly.

 

It was weird, but Dean hadn’t really thought of it. He just did what came naturally to him and every time the rift inevitably appeared. “I don’t really know. Each timeline has been different. And each time I just sort of, I don’t know… Did what I normally would have done.”

 

“That’s too vague a description to recognize a pattern,” Cas stated before he gave his own Dean a pointed look. One that was met with his doppelgänger poking his tongue out at him.

 

“Uh, well…” he started, trying to not feel weirded out by watching himself be gross and couple-y with Cas. “In the first timeline, Cas was a chick and knocked up with our kid. In the second, both Mom and Dad died in the fire started by Azazel, so we were locked up in a nut house after years in and out of the foster care system and getting locked up for killing a bloodsucker. The third was one where I never met Cas, so the world was basically Zombieland status without the zombies and Cas was alone. And the last one, it, uh… It was a timeline where I was a demon and Cas and I had a Bobby and Whitney situation going on.”

 

“Wow. that sounds messed up.” The other Dean quirked his brow. “Well, our universe isn’t that bad. We’re hunters. We live here with Mom and Sam. Sometimes Bobby comes to visit, or Jody with the kids. Except the usual hunts we do, it’s a pretty normal, calm, and happy life. No idea what you could help us with.” Dean shot a questioning look towards his Cas who just nodded.

 

“What did you do in those other timelines to pass the test?” Cas asked with a slight head tilt. 

 

Dean shrugged. “Like I said, just the kind of stuff I would normally do. Like, in the first timeline, I gave them my key to the bunker, since they never had it. That way they had a safe place for the kid, you know? In the next one, I helped the other me escape and stayed there so the heat wouldn’t be on him, giving him the chance to find his Cas. In the third timeline, I got Cas to a human compound and safe, working with humans. And in the last one… I got Cas out of that fucked up situation.”

 

Cas furrowed his brow thoughtfully. “So you helped the other Dean and Castiels to have a future…” Cas scratched the back of his neck before he looked up at him. “But I don’t see how you could help us. We’re happy.”

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, pushing down the bitter taste of jealousy. “Your lives are pretty fucking awesome.”

 

Both Cas and the other Dean exchanged a look before his doppelgänger shrugged. “Maybe you just have to stay a while and something will happen. Until then, you can stay with us.”

 

Dean nodded his appreciation. “Thanks. So, uh… I gotta ask. How did this…” He pointed between the two of them. “Happen?” 

 

They both exchanged another look. It was getting annoying how much non-verbal communication was going on between them. “You mean you and your Cas weren’t…” his doppelgänger asked, tone surprised.

 

He let out a sad, slightly bitter chuckle. “No. Too in my own fucking head, I guess…”

 

“Do you want a beer? We could all sit down and tell you. I’m curious to hear what your timeline looks like.” Cas offered, putting his arm around his Dean’s shoulder.

 

“A beer would be great. Or scotch…” Dean let out a grateful chuckle and followed the two of them into the bunker. He couldn’t help but watch the tiny little exchanges between them. The way the other Dean would fidget while holding Cas’s hand, tapping his fingers, or twisting and turning their hands together. 

 

Cas would give him a pointed look, before his expression would soften and the other Dean would grin like a dope.  _ Shit.  _ Is that what true love looked like? In so many of the timelines there seemed to be a lot of missed chances. His own included. But it warmed him to know that, at least in one timeline, they seemed to get everything right.

 

When they reached the library, Dean sank down in one of the chairs, across from where Cas sat, while his doppelgänger grabbed the tumbler and a few glasses. Pouring himself and Dean a glass each straight, he looked lovingly down at Cas and asked, “Want me to grab you a chaser?”

 

Cas nodded and returned the smile. It was nice to see him so happy. In his own time he hadn’t had enough reasons for it. 

 

Cas leaned forward, a soft smile playing around his lips as he folded his hands on the table. “We got together over seven years ago. Back when we still fought against Lucifer’s uprising… You’d just had a fight with Sam...” Cas explained thoughtfully as he nodded a thanks to his Dean when he handed him his drink. “And I was trying to find my father by trapping the archangel Raphael.”

 

The other Dean chuckled as he took a seat next to Cas and continued their story, “Yeah. He told me it was gonna be his last night on Earth, so I taught him the, ‘last night on Earth’ line. Fucker used it on me.” He leaned over and kissed Cas on the cheek.

 

Cas grinned smugly at him. "You make it sound like that night wasn't the start of the best sex you’ve ever had."

 

Dean almost choked on his drink, while his doppelgänger just returned the grin.

 

“I never said that,” he amended.

 

Cas wrapped his arm around him, a content smile gracing his lips, before he turned to face Dean again. "That's how we got together."

 

“That's…” Dean started. What did he want to say? That's awesome? That was such a long time ago? After a moment, he finished with a lame, “It's crazy how one detail can change everything.”

 

Cas tilted his head. “You’re saying your timeline went differently? Didn’t you help me trap Raphael, too?”

 

Dean chuckled and took a swig of his scotch. “Yeah, but, uh… When I told him I wasn't gonna let him die a virgin, I took my Cas to a brothel.”

 

The other Dean gave him a confused look. "Seriously?" He pointed at him. "You missed out, man."

 

“Yeah, I'm starting to see that…” Dean looked them both over and smiled. “So I gotta ask, what changes did that cause?”

 

The other Dean shrugged. “Well, I don’t know what happened in your timeline. Should I start at the beginning and we’ll… what? Compare notes?”

 

“I'm just curious. Bobby’s dead in my timeline so I'm wondering what else is different.”

 

Cas looked as shocked about that as the other Dean. “How did he die?”

 

Dean let out a sigh. “My Cas was in cahoots with Crowley, opened a doorway to Purgatory, swallowed a fuck ton of leviathan and when they escaped and tried to take over the world… their leader, Dick, shot Bobby in the head.”

 

Cas and the other Dean exchanged a shocked look and Cas shook his head. “That didn’t happen here. I never did anything like that. Do you know  _ why  _ your Cas did that?”

 

“When Sammy got dropped in the cage with Lucifer, I went running back to Lisa… I'm guessing that didn't happen here?” The gravity of the situation really hit Dean then. Was  _ he  _ the sole reason Cas ran off to Crowley? 

 

The other Dean shook his head. “No. Cas stayed with me and for a while I wasn’t doing very well. But he got me through that. And shortly after that Raphael tried to get the apocalypse back on track. So we organized a little rebellion and trapped him again. Cas killed him with an archangel's blade that a friend of his… Balthazar, had somehow procured. So, in exchange for doing Crowley a solid and putting an end to it, he got Sammy out of the cage for us.” 

 

Cas nodded and added, “After that it was thankfully quiet. No more world endings.”

 

Dean shook his head in amazement. “So no mark of Cain? No releasing the darkness? No British men of letters crap or Lucifer’s nephilim being born?”

 

They both shook their heads before Dean suddenly remembered that Mary lived with them. How could she be with them when Amara didn’t happen?

 

“Wait… then how is Mom living with you?”

 

“What do mean? Why wouldn’t she live with us?” The other Dean asked, taking a sip of his drink.

 

“Cause she died in the fire when I was four…” he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“Uh… no, she didn’t. Dad died in that fire. Mom got us out and she raised us to be hunters,” Dean explained slowly. 

 

“Shit.” Dean looked at his doppelgänger for a moment and asked, because he apparently had no filter, “Was she… did she leave you to raise Sammy?”

 

“No… we had a home. Went to school. Sammy even went to Stanford, but he came back to hunt with us after that. Mom was pretty pissed that he didn’t want to be a lawyer and became a hunter anyway, but I think she’s over it now.”

 

“So, we had a normal life  _ and  _ were raised as hunters?” Dean sank back against his chair and took another gulp of his scotch. The hell kind of life did he miss out on here? They say to be happy with what you’ve got, the grass isn’t always greener, but… Damnit, this grass was way greener than his own.

 

“Yeah,” the other Dean shrugged. “At the end it’s what you decide you want, right? If you want to have both, you actually  _ can.  _ But you have to learn how to prioritize. For example, we have a really good hunter network. So for the past few years we’ve been really well organized. I have more free time than ever, which means more time to spend time with Cas.”

 

Maybe Dean’s test was to try to  _ not  _ murder his doppelgänger and take his place. Because, goddamnit, that was damn tempting. Their lives were perfect, or as perfect as it could be and still be in the life. Before he could respond, a familiar voice echoed from the entryway.

 

“Oh, god. There’s two of you? This isn’t some weird, freaky sex thing you two are doing, is it? Because if I walk in on you again, I swear I’m gonna gouge my own eyes out…” Sam groaned and shook his head at them.

 

The other Dean waggled his eyebrows suggestively at his brother. “How’d you guess?”

 

Cas chuckled and playfully smacked his Dean on the arm. In that moment Dean realized he couldn’t ever remember hearing Cas laugh like that. “He’s from another timeline, saving his Cas.”

 

Sam stepped more into the room, eyes raking over Dean in curiousity. “Interesting. How are you saving  _ your  _ Cas by sitting here drinking whiskey?”

 

Dean feigned a laugh and rolled his eyes. Apparently, his brother was an annoying jackass in every timeline. 

 

“We don’t know yet what his quest is going to be,” Cas explained for Dean. “We’re trying to figure out how different our timelines are and it seems we don’t have much in common.”

 

Sam sat down on the edge of the table and faced Dean. “What’s your timeline’s version of me like?”

 

“An excitable, nerdy, pain in my ass,” Dean quipped.

 

The other Dean barked, “Well, we have  _ that  _ much in common.”

 

"But you and your Cas are just friends, right?" Cas asked slowly.

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah. My best friend.”

 

Cas looked away for a moment and the other Dean nudged his shoulder. "What's up, Sunshine?"

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck and gave the other Dean an embarrassed smile. "It's just strange to imagine that you wouldn't love me just because a few things in your life went differently. It reminds me how fragile life is."

 

The other Dean shook his head. “No way I don’t love you in other timelines. My guess is  _ this  _ version of me was just a dumbass.”

 

“Dean,” Cas practically growled at him. “He is doing all of this to save his Cas even though they aren’t a couple. That’s…” Cas looked up at Dean and gave him a soft smile. “I hope your Cas knows how lucky he is to have you.”

 

“He’s right,” Dean said after a beat. He looked up at Cas. “I mean, your Dean. He’s right. I  _ am  _ a dumbass.”

 

“Why do you say that?” Cas asked slowly, his gaze locked on him in worry. 

 

He let out a mirthless chuckle and sighed. “‘Cause it took me losing him to realize what he meant to me…” It was both freeing and damning to say those words out loud.

 

Cas reached over the table to grab his hand. “And after this is over, you’ll get him back and you can tell him.”

 

Dean nodded. Not just his understanding, but a silent promise that if he succeeded, if he was able to bring his Cas back… He would tell him. He’d tell him everything. Polishing off the rest of his scotch, he regarded all of them and smiled. “So… seven years, huh?”

 

Cas smiled at him and nodded before he leaned back. “It doesn't sound like much compared to how long I’ve existed, but..." He looked at his Dean with a loving smile. "But I’ve never felt happiness before. It's like I started living when I fell in love with you."

 

The other Dean pulled Castiel’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. “Best thing that ever happened to me…”

 

Sam groaned and held his hand in front of his face. “You’re still gross, even after seven years.”

 

“Awww, is someone jealous? Do you need some brotherly affection?” The other Dean reached his hands out to his brother, making a series of baby cooing noises at him.

 

Sam flicked his brother’s hand and pointed at him. “I’m not jealous. I happen to have the best girlfriend in the universe and you know it.”  

 

“That’s true,” his doppelgänger confirmed with a nod. “Where is she, anyway?”

 

“Helping Mom with something. It’s apparently a secret.” Sam shrugged.

 

And once again, Dean was intruding on a moment that was supposed to be theirs, supposed to belong to them. Here he was infiltrating that, seeing something that, while it gave him hope, it also made him realize just how much he was missing. How much his life had been a friggin’ nightmare in comparison.

 

Yet, if he honestly got the chance to choose between switching places with this Dean or staying in his dimension, he knew in a heartbeat he’d still choose his own life. Because  _ his  _ Cas was in Dean’s timeline. And while all of the different versions of Castiel had been eerily similar… None of them were  _ his. _

 

Dean looked at his alternate brother’s dopey grin and asked, “What’s her name?” Who knew, with things going the way they did here, it honestly could have been anyone.

 

“Eilleen. She’s a hunter like us,” Sam smiled before he took a sip of his beer. 

 

“Leahy?” Dean asked, dryly swallowing down the lump in his throat.

 

“Yes. You know her?” Sam asked before he looked up at Dean and slowly put his bottle down with a serious expression. “You know what? Don’t tell me. I don’t think I wanna know.”

 

“Good idea…” Dean nodded and let out a soft sigh. If he ever got back to his timeline, he knew he would never tell Sammy about this one.

 

It grew silent after that, everyone dwelled on their own thoughts for a moment. Cas stood up after a few minutes of the uncomfortable silence. “Come on, Dean. I’ll show you where you can sleep.”

 

Grateful for the distraction, he got up and followed Cas to the bedrooms. Dean was lost in thought, following Cas on instinct more so than actual need. He knew the bunker like the back of his hand at that point. This timeline really was pretty damn perfect. 

 

When the angel came to a stop, Dean’s heart ached when he realized what room they were stopped in front of. He chuckled and shook his head. “This was my Castiel’s room.”

 

Cas gave him a worried look. “Do you want a different room? I’m sure I could prepare another one for you...”

 

“No,” he answered quickly. “No. I’d… I’d like this room.”

 

Cas nodded, giving him a warm smile. “It’s confusing to hear you. I know you mean  _ your  _ Castiel, but I can feel your longing for him. Like you’re calling my name all the time… Before Dean and I got together, he tended to do that, too.”

 

“Sorry… I, uh… I didn’t realize I was doin’ that.” He shrugged, unsure how to stop longing for his Cas. Well, short of asking  _ this  _ Cas to knock him out.

 

Cas shook his head. “Don’t worry. It’s not a bad feeling… But it makes me wonder if your Cas…” He shook his head. “It’s not my place to say.”

 

“What?” Dean urged. 

 

Cas looked up at him, another soft smile on his lips. “The way you’re feeling now. That you wished he was here at your side. Did you ever feel this way when he was still alive?”

 

More times than he could count. Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Then he knows, Dean.”

 

Instead of making him feel better, which he knew was Cas’s intent, his words made him feel worse. If Cas knew, if Cas heard his longing, felt it… Knew what it meant when even Dean  _ didn’t…  _ Then that made the angel’s decision to abandon him all the more painful. “Then I guess I missed my window, huh?” His chuckle was bitter and a little sad. Dean pushed the door open and breathed a sigh of relief that it didn’t look  _ exactly  _ like his Cas’s room.

 

“Dean, if your Cas is in any way like me, he won't understand what all of that means. He will get mixed signals. He will hope. But he will always fear and doubt his own conclusions because emotions aren't our forte. You will need to take the first step. He’ll need your guidance.” Cas grinned suddenly. “My Dean calls it, ‘teachable moments’.”

 

Dean nodded, feeling an overwhelming surge of hope. “Thanks, Cas.”

 

Cas touched his shoulder. “I have faith in you. I’m sure you can save him.”

 

The urge to hug the angel was powerful, but entirely inappropriate considering, well… He’d probably get his ass beat for it. Dean looked back at the room and sighed softly. “I’m sure as hell gonna try…”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean’s sleep had been pretty restless. Nightmarish visions plagued his dreams, mostly watching the light fade from his best friend’s eyes on an endless loop. That’s how he found himself in the kitchen of the bunker, making himself a pot of coffee at four in the morning. 

 

It was eerily quiet, which wasn’t all that strange in the bunker, especially at that hour. But recalling where he was. The fact that he wasn’t in his own timeline, made him feel all the more alien. Dean sighed as he filled the filter with as much coffee grounds as it could hold. He turned the ancient beast on, took a seat at the table, and waited.

 

Taking a look around, it was surprising how very few differences there were between his timeline’s kitchen and this one. Apart from the feminine touches, like dish towels and actual dishware; which he assumed were Mom’s or even Eileen’s doing. Although, who knew? Could have been Sammy’s doing, too.

 

His curious reverie was interrupted by a soft clearing of a throat. 

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Cas asked.

 

Dean nodded and smiled. “Yeah. It happens. I got my four hours, so I should be good.”

 

“Four hours isn't much though,” Cas remarked as he sat down across from him, pouring a lot of sugar into a coffee mug.

 

“Want some coffee to go with your sugar?” he teased. It was kind of nice to see Cas had the same sweet tooth in every dimension. It made him feel closer to his angel. 

 

Cas smiled at him. “Yes, please. I like coffee.”

 

Dean grabbed the carafe and poured some into Cas’s mug, before pouring himself a cup. He usually took it with milk, but he needed the strength of a straight, black coffee to help wake him. Dropping himself back at the table, across from Cas, Dean blew on the hot liquid and sighed in contentment. 

 

“So, uh… I kind of don’t know what to say. I have questions and I’m seriously curious about a lot of things, but I’m not sure if that’s crossing a line or anything,” Dean said, relatively unceremoniously. He almost groaned and palmed his face at his lack of eloquence. He should never be allowed to speak prior to coffee ingestion.

 

Cas scratched his chin thoughtfully before he wrapped his fingers around his mug. “Honestly, even though I’ve lived on Earth for over seven years now, I’m still not sure sometimes about what things are socially acceptable. For me… you  _ are  _ Dean. It doesn’t matter where you’re from. If you have questions, ask.”

 

Dean regarded the angel for a moment, taking a tentative sip of his still too hot coffee before he decided to suck it up and just ask. “You’re an angel of the lord. You’ve seen…  _ everything.  _ The hell did you see in me? Or your me?”

 

Cas smiled at him. “My Dean asked that exact same question.” He stirred his coffee slowly before he looked up again. “I didn’t see everything, but I have seen a lot. But you… you are the first person that touched something in me. I watched humanity for such a long time and I always loved what humans were creating. But I was detached from it. I couldn't understand it, I had no emotional context. When I saved you from Hell, seeing your resilience, your strength, your compassion... at first it confused me because I just couldn't understand why you were fighting so hard. There was no one ordering you to do it, but still you had all the weight of the world on your shoulders and fought to save it. Until now, I can't say how or when it happened… Maybe the first time you called me ‘Cas’. You started to treat me differently. You made me a person, you made me a part of your family. You started to care for me… and I started to understand why you were fighting.” Cas smiled softly. “It was overwhelming at first, because this was so much more, such a profound change in how I perceived the world. You woke me up, Dean. And I fell for you.”

 

He was a little awestruck by such an intense, real answer to his question. It made him wonder if his own Cas felt the same way? Or maybe, over the course of the years, betrayal after betrayal, taking his friend for granted more often than he cared to admit, Cas had distanced himself. Because with Dean’s compassion and fight, came the antics of a frightened child, pushing away people he cared about for fear of losing them.

 

Dean took a deep breath and nodded at Cas. “Your Dean is a lot more well adjusted than I am.”

 

Cas gave him a long look. “You had so much more pain to endure in your life.” He pointed at his own chest. “But in here, you're the same.” As he took a sip from his “coffee”, Cas tilted his head thoughtfully. “You’re afraid he doesn't feel the same for you.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“It may have crossed my mind. Hell, I didn’t even realize what I felt for him until Jack sent me on this holy grail quest.” Dean sighed and leaned back against the chair. “I was an ass to him most of the time.”

 

“It can't be that bad if you were best friends and you went on this mission to save him.” Cas folded his hands. “Would he have done the same for you?”

 

Without hesitation Dean nodded. He knew that Cas would have done the same for him and his brother. Hell, that’s what got them in the stupid cosmic consequence balancing out thing in the first place. “No question. You know, I don’t have faith in God. I don’t have faith in Heaven, or angels, or any of that shit. But Cas? Yeah. I put my faith in things that I know I can depend on.”

 

Cas gave him a shy smile. “I wouldn't worry about him not reciprocating your feelings.”

 

“Honestly? I couldn't give a rat’s ass about that. As long as I have him in my life, friends… lovers… pen pals. However, that's all I need. As long as I can get him back.”

 

Cas chuckled at that. “I have nice handwriting.” He reached over and touched Dean’s arm. “I’m sure you will get him back.”

 

Before Dean could respond, Sam came darting into the kitchen, the other Dean following behind him. “Eileen sent me a distress text with her coordinates before she went dark. We gotta go!” Sam sounded frantic, more frantic than he’d heard his own brother sound in a long time.

 

They all quickly made their way to the garage. Even though he hadn’t been asked, Dean followed them. It was weird, but he was worried that something bad might happen to this timeline’s Eileen, too. 

 

“Do you know what happened? Where are they?” Cas asked as they piled into the car. Other Dean and Sammy riding shotgun, Cas and Dean sliding into the backseat. 

 

Sam shook his head. “Just an SOS and her coordinates. I’m guessing Mom is still with her, ‘cause she’s not answering any of her phones.”

 

The other Dean started Baby, doing a double take when he saw Dean in the backseat. 

 

Dean shrugged. “Figured I could help?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Fuck, I hope they’re okay,” the other Dean cursed as he drove Baby out of the garage and onto the street. “Sam, give me some direction. They weren’t on a hunt without telling us, right?” 

 

“Not that I know of. And these coordinates are about thirty minutes from here. Just outside of Athol. Hook a left up here.” 

 

The car ride was filled with tense silence after that. When they finally started slowing down, it was in the middle of freakin’ nowhere. They parked a bit further away from the exact location so they could sneak up on wherever the girls were. When a small house (which was more of a shack than a house) came into view at the coordinates, Cas quietly instructed them to split up. 

 

Sam went around to the front, gun cocked, calling out for them. The other Dean and Cas crept up on each side of the house to backup Sam, so Dean kept off to the side behind a tree, to keep an eye on all of them. He could hear talking before he took a quick peek around the tree. He was shocked for a moment to see Mary holding a gun to Eileen’s head. 

 

Dean’s confusion vanished the moment Mary started to talk. That wasn’t his mom, no matter what timeline. “Here’s what’s going to happen, boy. We’ve got your mommy and your girlfriend. If you kill us and we don’t check in with our friends, they’re going to die.” 

 

The other shapeshifter that posed as Eileen stood up straight, her voice hard and cold, “We want an exchange. We’ll give you two coordinates. The first one is a twenty minute walk from here. Dean goes alone. If he doesn’t come alone, or it takes more than twenty minutes, your friends die. The other location is more than an hour drive away and where your friends are. We’ll kill them if Dean shows up with you.”

 

“How do I know you’ll let them go and haven’t just killed them already?” Sam asked slowly. Dean knew his brother, even in alternate timelines. The shapeshifters wouldn’t notice the tension in his tone, a tone that meant Sam was trying to not fall apart.

 

“You don’t,” the shifter posing as Eileen barked with a grin. “But we aren’t interested in them. You’ll get them back if you do as we tell you.” She took a step closer to Sam and handed over a piece of paper. “This is where Dean has to go. Now fuck off.” She walked backwards and both shapeshifters disappeared into the shack again.

 

Dean came around the tree and headed straight for the Impala. The other three were there behind him, Cas and his Dean whispering harshly at each other.

 

“I’m not gonna let Eileen and Mom get hurt or killed, Cas!” His doppelgänger rifled a hand through his hair in frustration.

 

“They will kill you, Dean!” Cas yelled back. “You think I’m going to let you walk into your death?”

 

“You don’t get a choice.  _ My  _ life.  _ I  _ get to make the decisions. And you don’t know they’re gonna kill me. Look…” He let out a sigh and drew closer to Cas. “You know I’m not gonna let anything happen to them, not if I can prevent it.”

 

Cas shook his head slowly, whispering a broken, “I can’t lose you, Dean.”

 

As Dean listened to them continue to softly argue over this fucked up situation, it became clear what needed to happen. He cleared his throat and interrupted them, “I’ll go.”

 

Cas turned around, staring at him. “What?”

 

“Makes the most sense. Your Dean could hide in Baby’s backseat while you two rescue the girls and I’ll walk to this location. That way… That way you guys don’t lose anyone.” Dean was taken aback by the sheer pain he saw in Castiel’s eyes. His doppelgänger and Sam both looked uncomfortable. Like they wanted to argue, but at the same time, saw how logical his plan was.

 

“What about you?” Cas asked slowly. “You can’t save your Cas if you’re dead.”

 

“Look,” he started, letting out a soft sigh. “It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to send you…” Dean pointed to the other Dean and continued, “When I’m a perfectly good Dean. They aren’t gonna know I’m from another timeline and that’ll give you guys a chance to save your family, maybe even gank a couple of asshole shapeshifters along the way. Besides, I refuse to sit by and watch  _ another  _ Cas lose his Dean. You guys have the life that I’ve always wanted and there’s not even a guarantee I’ll get mine back. My Cas would understand. He’d be happy to know I helped keep a version of us happy.”

 

Cas pressed his lips together in a thin line, his eyes tearing up as he looked away. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. The other Dean gave him a terse nod. “Thank you. We’ll come get you as soon as we have Mom and Eileen.” 

 

Dean shook his head. “You guys know they’ll be expecting that. They’ll either be long gone by then, or setting up a trap. Just…” He grabbed the paper from Sam’s hand and sighed again. “Just live your lives. Do that for me.”

 

The other Dean nodded. “We will.” 

 

Dean looked over to Cas, but he didn’t meet his eyes nor was he saying anything. “Thanks for… thanks for letting me see what it could have been like.”

 

Cas looked up for a moment, brow furrowed and eyes open and vulnerable, he seemed completely heart broken. He nodded. "I'm sorry."

 

“Don’t be,” Dean urged. “You guys made me see that my life, while it wasn’t the best in a lot of ways… I was loved in a way I couldn’t imagine. And that’s… That’s made my life a surprisingly good one.”

 

Cas looked away again and he could see that this was incredibly hard for him to accept. But he didn’t have time for this now. None of them did. The proverbial clock was ticking and he had to go. 

 

Looking down at the coordinates, he plugged them into his phone. It was about an eighteen minute walk. Dean cast another look at all of them. “You better save your girls.”

 

The other Dean nodded and pulled Dean into a quick hug. “Thank you. It’s not enough… but thank you.”

 

“Take care of him, okay?” He drew back and patted his doppelgänger on the shoulder. 

 

The other Dean looked in the direction of where Cas had moved to sit in the car and pursed his lips before he nodded again. “Of course. We won’t forget this.”

 

Dean took a deep breath and nodded his goodbye to the other Dean. Checking the recommended route on his phone, he started his little trek, which appeared to be further and further out in the middle of nowhere. If the site of the SOS text was creepy, this place was what nightmares were made of. It didn’t help that it was the middle of the night still. The sun wasn’t supposed to rise for another hour at least.

 

The quietness surrounding him gave him time to think. He knew he was doing the right thing. While a selfish, heartbroken part of himself would have loved to have succeeded for Cas. To bring his Cas back… He knew he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he stood by and watched yet another Castiel from another dimension lose. 

 

He realized in that moment, he loved Cas. To such an extent that he couldn’t bear to see any version of his angel be in pain. Being forced to live with a loss like that.  _ Fuck.  _ He  _ loved  _ Cas. At least Dean was able to find comfort in the fact that he and Cas were able to find happiness in alternate timelines.

 

There was a stark, crunching sound in the distance, which could have been anything. An animal stepping on a twig. A scarecrow being flung around by the small gust of wind that was chilling the usually warm summer air. But being a hunter his whole life, knowing the circumstances he was going into, Dean braced himself for whatever was about to happen.

 

“You really came alone,” someone sneered from behind him. When Dean turned around he was momentarily shocked to see Cas’s face.  _ Fucking shapeshifters. _

 

Dean took a step back. “Didn't have much of a choice. You gonna keep your end and let my mom and Eileen go?”

 

The guy smiled and it just looked wrong on Cas’s face. It reminded him of the times Cas had been possessed. Fake Cas had a long knife in his hand. “Sure. We don’t care about them. Our beef is with you. You killed one of our own. Our brother. A life for a life.”

 

Two more shapeshifters appeared. All wearing Cas’s face. One was pointing a gun at him.

 

Dean chuckled, a dark and unamused sound. “You thinking it'll hurt more if you all look like Cas?”

 

One of the shapeshifter’s gripped Dean’s chin and smiled coldly. “Yes. Is it working?”

 

The other shapeshifter chuckled and drew closer.

 

“Joke’s on you. Even if it's fake, you guys are giving me a fucking gift. Seeing the angel I love’s face before I go…”

 

“I think I just puked in my mouth,” the guy with the knife said, feigning gagging into his free hand. He stepped closer and punched Dean in his face. Sharp knuckles colliding with his jaw, forcing his teeth to clack together. “Let’s see how much of a gift it will be for you when your angel’s face is torturing you to death.”

 

Dean wiped at the corner of his mouth, the distinct taste of copper on his tongue. Even in the moonlight he could see the slight discoloration from his own blood. He looked up and spat in the shapeshifter’s face. “Fuck you. Your brother cried like a little bitch when I ganked his sorry ass.”

 

The shifter growled at him and started to rain down punches. Blow after blow. To the side of his face, his sternum, his nose. The others tried to hold him back, but the shifter was too quick. He raised his knife and Dean knew it would be over in seconds.

 

When the knife was plunged into his chest, Dean choked on the little bit of air left in his lungs. The pain in his chest slowly radiated throughout his body. He'd died so many times, it was surprising how unprepared he was for the pain.

 

As he collapsed to his knees, he looked up to the sky and said a silent prayer.  _ I'm sorry, Castiel. I hope you can forgive me for failing you. _

 

Dean felt his eyes flutter closed as the light dimmed and for the last time, his vision turned blacker than a starless sky.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNTAGGED WARNINGS: none! 
> 
> We hope you enjoy the final part!

**Epilogue**

 

When Dean blinked and his vision came into focus, he anticipated the first sight to greet him to be a reaper. Or maybe waking up on the rack in Hell. Maybe even in his own Heaven.

 

He  _ hadn't  _ been expecting to see his brother, clutching him by the arm, expression concerned and confused. Dean looked around and found himself back in Washington. Jack still hovered over Castiel’s unmoving form.

 

Dean shook his head, trying to make sense of everything. He looked back at his brother and sighed. “I failed.”

 

"You were just away for a few minutes, Dean," he said, brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

 

“Huh? I was gone for  _ days.”  _ He looked at Jack then, feeling just as confused as his brother. 

 

Jack looked up and slowly stood, walking towards him, reaching out his hand. “Come.”

 

Dean grasped the kid’s hand and allowed him to guide him away from Sammy. “I tried. I really did.”

 

For the first time he saw the boy smile. Just a faint one that was barely there. “I know. You succeeded. Kneel down next to him and take his hand.”

 

“What?” he asked, following the kid’s instructions. Dean knelt beside Cas and grabbed his cold, unmoving hand.

 

Jack knelt on the other side, putting his palm on Cas’s forehead and closed his eyes. “It’s important you don’t let go of him.”

 

Dean nodded and looked down at Castiel’s face, squeezing his unresponsive hand like his life depended on it. “I don’t understand. How did I… I  _ died.  _ I felt myself die.”

 

Jack nodded as his eyes flared up golden. “You made enough sacrifices to balance his life. You passed the tests. Now I can bring him back.”

 

Jack’s hand started to glow as he stared down at Cas. For a few grueling minutes nothing happened, but Dean kept holding onto Cas’s hand. His thoughts in a repetitive loop, chanting a mantra of, “Come on, come on, come on.”

 

He could feel the wind start to pick up. Storm clouds were forming in the sky, thunder rolling over them. There was an electric tension in the air and suddenly Cas’s body started to glow, tendrils of something glowing followed the shape of the burned wings on the ground. It surrounded Dean, filling him with a pleasant sort of warmth. 

 

And then it stopped. The wind died down and the clouds broke apart. The glowing faded and the sound of the night engulfed them again. For a second Dean was afraid that it hadn’t worked, until he could feel his hand being squeezed. 

 

Dean squeezed harder, leaning over Cas, using his free hand to cup the angel’s face. “Cas?”

 

Jack had retracted his hand and was sitting next to them, something Dean had only just registered because he couldn’t look away from Cas’s face. Cas, who suddenly took in a deep breath and opened his eyes.

 

Not caring that the guy had just come back to life, Dean pulled him up, yanking him into a hug. “You stupid, son of a bitch!”

 

Cas leaned back, staring at Dean in obvious confusion. “I…” His voice sounded raspy. “I don’t understand. I was dead… How...” He suddenly looked worried, his tone accusing as he asked, “What have you done?”

 

“I got you back,” he said simply. “And I’d do it again in a fucking heartbeat. So save your annoyance and just thank me…”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him. "I'll thank you if you tell me that this won't have any consequences for your life. Until then, you have to deal with my annoyance." 

 

“I…”  _ Shit.  _ He actually honestly didn’t know whether or not it would have any consequences for him. He never bothered to ask. Dean looked to Jack and gave him an imploring, silent plea for help.

 

It was the first time Cas appeared to realize they weren’t alone. His breath hitched in surprise. “Jack?”

 

The kid smiled at him and nodded before he touched Cas’s hand. His eyes glowed golden again and a light transferred from Jack to Cas. After a moment, the glowing was gone and Jack let go of Cas, who looked taken aback before he faced Dean again. “You did all of this… just to save me?” 

 

Dean smiled. “Course. You’re family, Cas.”

 

Cas looked down for a moment before he nodded and looked up with a half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you.”

 

Pulling the angel into another fierce hug, Dean pressed into the crook of Cas’s neck and murmured, “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.”

 

He could feel Cas wrapping his arms around him, pulling him closer as he shook his head against him. “You would think after dying so many times, I would have a better response for you.”

 

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. “God, I fucking missed you…” He drew back, cupping Cas’s face in both of his hands, hardly able to believe what he was seeing was real.

 

Cas stared at him, his lips slightly agape as he blinked at him. For a moment there was a question in Cas’s eyes, a spark of hope, before doubt clouded them again and he looked away. He drew back from Dean’s hold as he retracted his own hands and looked up at Sammy with a shy smile.

 

“Heya, Cas... “ Sam knelt next to them. “Good to have you back with us.”

 

“Thank you, Sam. It’s good to be back… Although I can’t really remember being gone,” Cas added as an afterthought.

 

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked, looking over Cas’s body for any visible injuries. 

 

Cas slowly stood up from the ground, taking Dean’s hand that he’d proffered without thinking. “I feel… fine. No injuries left except the ones I already had.”

 

Cas held Dean’s hand for a little longer than necessary, not that Dean was going to complain. He gently caressed the back of Dean’s hand with the pad of his thumb, before he finally let go and gave Jack a questioning look. 

 

The kid shook his head, expression apologetic. “There’s nothing I can do about your wings.”

 

Cas nodded. “It’s okay. I’m used to driving a car now.”

 

“You’re not driving anywhere.” Dean’s tone was adamant. He looked at Jack again. “Are you able to…” He almost felt bad asking the kid for another favor, but he couldn’t  _ not  _ try. “Can you open the rift to where our Mom is?”

 

Jack looked confused. “I only opened one rift for you, Dean. I don’t know where your mother is.”

 

Cas shook his head, his voice soft as he gave Dean an apologetic look. “He wasn’t aware of making that rift, Dean. But it doesn’t mean we’re not going to do everything we can to try and find her.”

 

Dean nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek to try to focus on the good in that moment. They got Cas back. And Lucifer’s spawn didn’t seem to be evil incarnate. Winchesters had to take wins where they got them. “Well, no time to waste.” He looked back at Sam and tossed him the keys to Baby. “You take Damien here back with you. I’ll drive Cas’s truck.”

 

“His name is Jack,” Cas pointed out dryly.

 

“And one of these days, you’re gonna understand a reference I make and shock the shit out of me.” Dean smiled, feeling lighter than he had in… hell, months.

 

Cas shot him a soft smile before he looked at Jack, who seemed just as confused about everything. “You can go with Sam. Don’t worry.”

 

Jack nodded slowly before he went over to his brother, who gave the kid a careful smile. Sam nodded at Dean. “Stay close behind us.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved him off and grabbed Cas by the elbow, guiding him to the ridiculous truck he seemed to love so much. 

 

“I’m perfectly capable of driving, Dean,” Cas started to protest when they reached the truck.

 

Dean sighed. “Look… Just… Gimme this, alright? I just watched my best friend die and went through Hell to get him back. Let me do this, okay?”

 

Cas looked down for a moment before he pulled the keys from his trench coat and handed them over. “Alright…”

 

Grabbing the keys, he hopped into the driver’s side of the cab, patiently waiting for Cas to climb in on the other side. When Cas got settled into the seat, Dean couldn’t help but stare. It was almost surreal, knowing he’d done it. That he passed the tests. He was able to balance out the damned cosmic consequences and bring Cas back. And here he was, sitting next to him, casting a curious glance in his direction.

 

_ Damn.  _ He’d never felt love like this before.

 

“What?” Cas asked after a moment, looking down at himself as though there was something he had missed.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “After we save Mom, you and me? We’re going on a vacation.”

 

Cas looked confused. “Just you and me?”

 

“Yeah,” he murmured, leaning forward to gently grasp Cas’s chin. “I don’t know if I’m just completely off base here, but after meeting three versions of you that were in love with me, I can’t help but hope…”

 

Cas's eyes widened and his breathing hitched as he barely nodded, before appearing to change his mind and shake his head. His voice sounded breathy and confused as he stammered, "Yes, I mean, no. You're not… I mean, not  _ completely  _ ‘off base'."

 

The words of the last Castiel he met echoed in his head:  _ You will need to take the first step. _

 

With a smile, Dean murmured a soft, “Good,” before he leaned in and captured Cas’s lips in a gentle kiss. The kind of kiss where you tread the water and get a feel for the waves, before diving in.

 

Cas made a noise that was a cross between a surprised gasp and a groan before he wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, drawing him closer and kissing him back.

 

As Dean got lost in sensation, his brain slowly processed everything, committing it to memory. The feel of Cas’s weirdly soft lips, a taste that was uniquely him, and the way he moved with Dean in harmonic rhythm; all of it was perfection. There was no other word for it. Dean could have easily spent hours in that cramped cab, kissing Cas with all he had, but they were interrupted by his brother honking Baby’s horn.

 

Dean drew back with a chuckle and smiled at Cas. He threw the truck in gear and grabbed his angel’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “Let's go home.”

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankie here: I’ve gotta say, even though this is shorter than a lot of our stuff and HOLY FUCKING SHIT NO SMUT?? THE HELL? LOL. Anyway, so that was intentional for a couple of reasons. One, it didn’t really contribute anything to the main story or concept, and while I know that HEY it’s smut! It’s not meant to be there for plot development! We try to be purposeful with what we write. And two: we don’t want to be one trick ponies. Not all stories require explicit sexual content and we don’t want to force it where it isn’t needed.
> 
> Anyway, we really loved this concept and it’s funny that just wanting to work on a “oneshot” to do something fun and quick turned into this. It’s interesting where inspiration can take form. So, yeah. I hope you guys loved this as much as we did writing it. Thank you to all of our readers and commenters. You’re the butter on our bread. Or whatever healthier, gluten free analogies if you prefer. I love you guys! I love you Any! Thank you!
> 
> Any here: I wrote a timestamp for the smut. *blushes and runs away, hiding behind Frankie again whispering, "I love you. I love all of you."*
> 
> Frankie here: Should we tell them?
> 
> Any here: Hmmmm, let me think. Are we sadistic assholes like the spn writers, that try to hold back information (again thank you Jared) that could possibly be interesting for some people?
> 
> Frankie here: Well, yeah, we are sadistic assholes, but no. We’re not SPN writer level.
> 
> Any here: True. At least we fix things we fucked up before.
> 
> Frankie: True. So, on that note. Because so many of you expressed interest in knowing what happened in the other dimensions… We’re actually writing timestamps for ALL of them. Which may or may not contain smut. But we’re turning this into a series with timestamps that will give you the answers to any questions you had when Dean left those other timelines.
> 
> Any here: *sings* I'm so excited and I just can't hide it...
> 
> Frankie here: I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. LOL. There’s no posting schedule for them. We’ll upload them when they’re finished and edited. Again, thanks to all our readers and commenters. <3<3


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